The wrong answer game

It's moonlight glittering in the snow and gleaming from the icicles.
How magical.

When you are registered for the do not call list, how many junk calls do you get a day?

Just one from the credit card company.

If 78% of the weight you lose on Lipozene is body fat, what parts of your body make up the other 22%?

Nose, ears and feet, I hope, as they never stop growing!

Why can't you revisit the past?

It stops talking long enough to run out of hot air.

I read on another hsp board an article Elain Aron did on extrovert envy. It got me to wondering: is there such a thing as introvert envy and what might introverts be envied for?

There is such a thing, and the number-one thing extroverts admire about us is our ability get grant money for college by passing as deaf-mutes.

If you were a tree, what sort of infection would you get?

Itchy ant syndrome.

as too your previous answer:

Does this also apply to the introverts on this board?

Maybe it does and maybe it doesn't. We like to be sneaky like that.

Why does God live underwater?

A lot less crowded with a lot fewer people.

What is the strangest kind of memory there is?

The RAM of a Commodore 64.

With all the birds hitting planes lately, it seems that birds and planes are at war with each other. Why is that?

Planes are just space hogs.

Why is the grass always greener someplace other than where you are?

Because ya musta forgot your glasses...
Speaking of which...can absolute imperfection be easier to attain than perfection...cause things always look better everywhere else?
{like..is it easier to just mess something up where you're at than fix it perfect?}
Two for one...cause they're related...hee....
Essay answers accepted...with absolute glee...cause it's a longer wrong to read

Perfect imperfection is no easier to attain than perfection; you gotta work hard to attain either. Once you attain it, things look worse everywhere else. It's the perfect destructive mess, GW Bush's legacy is a good example (whoops that part is a true answer).

How does light get up to speed?

By exercising.....trimming the pounds a little...and thereby being quicker. Perhaps then it would be time for a "light year". [Paah! ]...er...light beer?

If we traveled in time and met ourself...would we still have the same mind thoughts...or would there be some kind of obnoxious dialogue...Me!..No Me! No...me first!...No i was...No.......[hee!]

No, because all reality as we know it would either implode, or just go incredibly self absorbed. (and I know many of you ask how is that different from now?)

What is one of the funniest signs of the times?

"E-KICK MY DOMAIN NAME."

Why the long face?

Because a short one doesn't fit well.

Is time in a straight line and why?

No...it is in an endless loop..so we can "rollwithit". Like gerbils on a cosmic wheel.
When you hear a favorite album...does it seem like the songs face and line up in a certain direction?
[psst...this actually happens to me in my mind]

No, but the questions surrounding them sure do.

Why is chocolate so loved?

Because it's so cuddly sweet...like a little puppy!
'Cept for hollow easter bunnies...scary chocolate there!Beware! Don't buy...boycott..ha! Nothing but solids...no hollids!

Where do all my good socks go? Gr!lol! Honey...!

They've left this life to be in the presence of the Eternal Mothball.

Why do we tip waiters but not shoe salesmen?

(question and answer in one...)

We're not supposed to tip the shoe salesmen? Why not?

I've only been tripping the light fantastic with mine. I guess I heard him wrong...

What's the best way to kill time on a rainy day?

With a fly swatter and an umbrella.

How can you be sure it's a good time to bluff?

If you've developed a good cliff face.

When what goes around comes around, who cleans up after?

Didn't you know? You do.

Just what is it that goes around and comes around?

All I know is that I like to see it go round and round it's like drrrruhrrrrrr ha heh haha rrrruhrrrrrrrrruhrrrrrr! pfff ha hah hahahahaha heh heh Ha!!

Could God make an alcoholic beverage with so much alcohol that not even He could avoid getting drunk off of it?

Can He? Yes. Should He? Yes. Has He? Yes. Will He again? Yes. How do I know all this? Yes.

If you were in a survival situation and had to sever and consume one of your toes for sustenance, which would you choose and why?

It sure is a wet day today. (right answer, wrong question, lol)

Are they watching you right now and how are they doing it?

Yes. Through the computer of course.

How many books do you have to read before you turn into a worm?