The wrong answer game

The puppetmaster. Belief is not required.

What's the best way to get excused off a jury panel?

Pull a gun on the judge, then you'll get to see things on the other side!

By what time is a posse no longer in effect?

When the posse is passee, of course.

When is the best time to do the dance of joy?

When somebody's kicking your ass.

Where's the border between Northern California and Southern California?

Last we saw, it was heading for Equador. (kinda sounds like our wayward sombrero!)

What's the most exciting thing to see at a submarine race?

Giant squid doing The Wave.

What's the most important difference between a Sufi and a souffle?

The dizziness.

What's the most important thing to watch for in group dynamics?

Which one brings the condoms.

Which one brings the condoms?

The most optimistic guy there.

How do you recognise him?

He's got the condoms. (Hello???)

What's the real difference between apples and oranges?

One makes good doctor repellent.

What's the world's largest bug?

People talking at the movies.

What's the best way to start a holy war?

Just be a jewish woman in western garb and walk down the street of a fundamentalist muslim country (Oh wait, that is not a wrong answer....oh well....)

I know; re-elect a Bush (Oh darn a true answer again)

What is it that you just can't pick one of?

Ha...paintchips!
What is the best time of day to say "no"?

At the time you're walking out the door.

What is the perfect thing to paint?

The sole of the foot of a sleeping leprechaun--if it tickles just right, he'll give you his pot of gold. Of course, you also have to have him at gunpoint....

What's the best job in Hell?

Water carrier

(in response to your answer: )

What happens when you run out of questions?

Reality, as we know it, implodes, showering confetti into the antirealityverse, which you know makes perfect sense.

What does a double helix mean to you?

Four parts whiskey, two parts baby.

If lawyers migrated like birds, where would they go for the winter?

To the world's largest cluster of bars.

How does one make a program bug proof?

One never installs the program, and then one tongue-kisses an ox.

Why don't we do it in the road?

Because no-one will be watching us...
Is "to be or not to be"...REALLY a question?

Bluedream: Spoken like someone who has been on the road for too many miles...

It is to the bee.

How do you get a group of cats to cooperated?

Name him Kermit.

What is the best way to glow?

Walk into the wrong room at the power station! Oopsies! Doh! Homer! lol!
How long would it take to dig to China using a teaspoon?

Well, if it's grandma's good china, about 2 seconds before you're caught and send home in disgrace.

Warning, this thread will split in 2 when it reaches 25 pages. Our host programed it that way.

Why did they do that?

Um...cause I'm distracted so easily...?
Ha...answer and question!

because.....oooh, is that a butterfly out there this time of year?

hmm...it could be....frozen mebbe...inna tree...near me...
lets look...
shall we?
Ah...no it can't be...but...

Hey...are my garden lights still...
Wow!
I wonder...
but then...
why izzit...
does the sunlight power them the same in winter?...or the snow's reflection?