The wrong answer game

In a car, because it can move pretty fast.

If people go up in their trees when they want to hide away from the world, where do the trees go when they feel this way?

Deep down under the ground, where they have hidden cities.

Why are gemstones so valued?

because the lower forms of life are fascinated by bright and shiny things...

why don't you ever find unicorn poop at the end of the rainbow?

hmmm...I thought unicorns and the origin of rainbows and glitter would be a sure winner...but here we are 2 weeks later, and no one knows...

Actually you do find the poop; that's where gold in the pot comes from.

How do you tell when you get to the stage where you feel you have enough of everything and want no more?

with your tongue...

Why would you want no more?

When you want yes less.

Can God take a dump so big that not even he can flush it down the toilet?

god has taken so many dumps in his life.........he has it down to a fine art...

If gods speciality is fine arts......what kind of arts would you embrace alongside him?

Art Carney.

Why do we wait in lines?

Because waiting takes time, and time is linear

Why do we wear hats?

To sheild ourselves from the thought police.

Exactly what is laughter?

It orignated from a travelling medicine mans bag, he discovered it one day quite by accident and the rest is history of course....

History they say repeats itself.........are you repeating history?

I am happily nonrepeating it repeatitively....

Why is the sky at sunset sometimes green?

Envy drops by occassionally to let himself be known.......what better way to tell the world than to reveal itself in the sky for all too see.....

How many drafts are drafted before a final copy emerges?

None, because someone closed the door finally. It's nicely weather stripped so no drafts happen.

How is weather stripped?

well the seasons play strip jack naked......so its always on the cards and how they fall.............

How high is too high for a person high on drugs?

To the moon Alice, to the moon!

Is love really the drug I am thinking of?

Love is the drug...............what goes on inside that mind of yours is your mind..so I mind my own business............of love...........and business is blooming....mind you I do have lots of roses on hand!!!!

Roses are red violets are blue.......whats green?

money...

Why are diamonds a girl's best friend? (What's wrong with money?)

Because diamonds are a cut above money.........

They say money is the root of all evil...........what are the stalks of all evil?

legs.....

Where can we find originality in popular entertainment?

at the drive in theatres.........the yobbos who entertain us before movie time starts in front of the big screen are priceless and original....pity they were not entertaining...

How come they took away our drive in theatre?

...because people were having too much fun entertaining themselves in their cars, and not watching the subliminal messages in the movies, which were supposed to get them to buy food and drink from the concession stands.

Where do you hang the speaker if you go to the drive in theater on a motorcycle?

From the back of your pants waist....

Why is valentine's day so popular?

Because people want an excuse to eat chocolate...and smell the roses!!


Do you ever stop to smell the roses?

No, you know that old saying...a rose by any other name would still smell as stinky.....

Even cabbage roses?

Even cabbage roses smell fine, but the uneven cabbage roses stink...and they look ragged too.


What is "the book of love"?

It is contained in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe. It's a part of its saga.

When do you know your computer is too old?

When it's no longer interested in having sex with you. (Don't ask.)

What happened to Skeeter? (Why didn't she go on with the other muppet babies into show business?)

Mwahahahahaa


Simple. Witness relocation program.

Who is the Duke of Earl? (and why?)