bubbles and communication

A lot of us now here once had an extensive discussion on reality bubbles; the idea that each person has their own, and each person's reality is unique to themselves.

So I thought to ask the question; if it is a given that each of us has our own distinct reality; how do we figure out points in common so we are able to communicate and be understood? We've all noticed how difficult that can be among nonhsps, but even though we are very individual and different from one another, we do manage to understand one another quite well. So how do we manage this if we're in our own reality bubble?

Mel,
I thinking on this. I'll get back to you.
I'm thinking along the lines that the people here, are embodiments of characteristics I identified in myself. Not quite phsyical entities, but cabable of interactions none the less. Interacting thoughts, shall we say....I'll think about it a bit, I'm a bit tired, and the deep depths of philosophy are bit out of reach. Some times, people on forums seem a bit like my characters in my stories, only much more sentioned (is that spelt right?). You guys, I'm sure will understand what I mean, being gifted and all with rich imaginations, and vivid fantasy lives. Characters, even imaginary friends can take lives and personalities of thier own.

I often wonder how much of the thoughts and ideas we communicate get lost in translation. We really do speak in foreign tongues to each other because of these "bubbles."

yep, funny how 'words' and 'pictures' are still only concepts and shadows of ideas...

and who says i have a rich fantasy life, Adain? lol! i can't remember the last time i had a fantasy......holy moly....

everything in three dimensions requires 'agreement'; this is why we invented time and language....we have to 'agree' to be someplace at or near a certain time, and then we have to 'agree' on what common sounds/word pictures we are going to paint. without this agreement, it would be the tower of babel (and sometimes still is lol!)

there are some who agree to be certain places, and others who don't, because the dream has not come to them to be there, imo....

reb

Seems like the response so far is that you're amazed communication and understanding happens as often as it does, given individual realities.

Adain, I'm pretty sure I am not a figment of your imagination! I do get what you're trying to say. You identify with aspects of our online personas. It is true, that it's really difficult to present a whole person online, so most of us present various aspects of ourselves. Not sure what you mean by "sentioned"; sentient maybe? So far though you're the only one to speculate on how understanding is reached.

I try to understand by trying to see from the other person's mindset. This is not always possible, especially online, as not enough of the person is revealed. So then I try to relate given the combination of the limited information presented, intuition, empathy and knowledge from past experiences. I'm pretty sure that reality bubbles can merge for a time so that realities are shared for a bit. I also am pretty sure most will disagree with me on this.

Mel,
Sentient is what I meant! LOL. I hate when other people use the wrong word. How embarassing:oops:
It's funny you brought this up. I was joking at work that I should write up a translation dictionary, so everyone else knew what I meant. Communication is quite trying sometimes as I have different names for everything, so no-one knows what I mean half the time, and vice versa. Lucky, my manager and supervisors for the most part, have been understanding about it, if a little perplexed at times. One supervisor jokingly said "just point to what you mean!"
The Ozzie's just joke and say it must be a kiwi thing.

It's okay; just another example of differing reality bubbles. Your word usage is creative; so is my spelling. We'll get along just fine!

Who knows? Maybe one of your more creative words will catch on and end up in wide usage. That is how languages evolve!

if it is a given that each of us has our own distinct reality; how do we figure out points in common so we are able to communicate and be understood?

By communicating with others, the common points will appear. It is part of the interaction in a good conversation. Sometimes it's good to check with the other person regarding what it is you heard. Rephrasing what the person said and asking "is this what you meant?" is a good way to do this. And then just plain observation. And honoring diversity. I have a good friend who is very right wing and very religious. Me, I'm a free thinker, consider myself progressive and am definitely spiritual as opposed to religious. So we have found the "common ground" those areas in which we can communicate very well, and there are many of them. What I've found more and more to be true is that there is no need to absorb another's belief. It's okay to be different, in fact it's totally wonderful. Heck, look at all the cells in our bodies, they do different things but ultimately they all are part of each of us. Same thing with people. We are all different but ultimately we are all part of the whole. When I go from that premise, pretty much everything works out just fine.

Heck, look at all the cells in our bodies, they do different things but ultimately they all are part of each of us. Same thing with people. We are all different but ultimately we are all part of the whole. When I go from that premise, pretty much everything works out just fine.

The funny thing was, Nan, that during that original discussion, I was arguing that we were not in fact in separate realities, but interconnected. Everyone disagreed with me. So that is why I asked the question, to see what would develop from that premise of separateness. You just stated my original position beautifully.

in mathematics, i recall there being 'universes' and 'subsets', etc....the perception that we are 'separate' is prevailng, because nearly everyone feels like a subset of one...or sometimes, they identify with some club, or group, or church. that 'lack of belonging' is at the heart of alot of human 'social networking'; in the end, we all die alone, and we are alone metaphysically. in another sense, we are never alone....it's the paradox of human consciousness....i don't find either position to be particularly defensible to a reasoned, determined, sneaky and sustained attack. lol!
reb

This is a good point.

In the end, I am content to live with the paradox of being connected to everyone and everything and yet also being a totally separate entity on a different level.

Since we are connected on some levels, our reality can't be entirely separate. Thus we are able to communicate, not just with each other, but with all life on some level.

In my spare time (plenty at current) I am a host for a bi-monthly Conversation Cafe. We had several of them going at one time (in the past) here in the desert and when I was up in Utah, I tried to get one going but it just didn't go that well. The population here is quite diverse, from many different parts of the country, so there are numerous ways to be different. When we get together to converse, we have 6 agreements that we agree to abide by. They are: listen with respect; suspend judgment as best you can; go for honesty and depth without going on and on; seek to unerstand rather than persuade; invite and honor diversity of opinion; speak from the heart with personal meaning. Back when I first got involved, we chose not to discuss subjects that were overly controversial, such as religion or politics. As time went on and we became accustomed to conversing according to the agreements, we embraced topics that were quite controversial, such as politics. These were carried off without arguments. The bottom line is that it can be done. But all parties need to agree to doing it. And what I've found is that, yes, often words are not adequate. Then one needs to ask for verification, this is what I heard you say, is that what you meant? kind of thing. This applies, obviously, to verbal communication. Non verbal communication is a whole different animal. But I do know that that exists. Body language is one good example. Of course on the forum, we cannot see another's body language so here, that avenue is not available to us.

Also, when new people come to the Conversation Cafe (and they do), they observe and learn from others. Some people prefer to be confrontational all the time and this is not a space for them. Once I had to ask a couple of leave because of that. They were what they were but they could not take over our group because we were what we were. This type of conversation is different from most because it builds upon what each person says. No one is trying to convert someone else, we simply state what we believe and allow others to do likewise. Yes, we usually have a topic from where we start the conversation and often, by the end of it, it has changed. And interestingly, we often find ourselves able and willing to look closely at other people's viewpoints and say, yes, you are making a very good point.

Anyway, I've wanted to share this for some time because, for me, it is a vital part of who I am, of what I like to do. When I try to talk around this, as I have in some previous posts, I think that many do not get it. Also, remember that I am not judging anyone else. This is just me, my opinion.

It's kind of like a real time living forum. How cool!

The format opens minds and expands horizons.

Yeah, the idea of a real-life forum sounds kind of cool

Nan,

sounds like 'non-written debate rules'; enforced by 'honor'. a good formula....a debate moderator frequently has to 'rein people in'-their emotions and convictions, and desire to 'win' sometimes get the better of them, as the idea of debate is to 'persuade'. debating for 'understanding' is an interesting concept.... iow, there is no concept of 'winning' allowed in that format....
reb

Debating is not the same thing as a true conversation. And it's hard to explain but for me, when I'm in the groove with others, conversing, it's like a magical time. If one can be addicted to something like this, then I surely am. I have likened it to a verbal tapestry and each time it is very different. And I guess it creates a win/win situation. We all come away feeling enhanced by the experience.

Interweaving and building upon one another's thoughts to create a gestault; this is what it sounds like.

Nan,

agree; debating is, in fact, competition with rules to keep it on track so it doesn't degenerate into cutthroat competition and juvenile namecalling. discussing things to understand and avoiding 'persuasion' is another cat of a different breed. i can do 'the other', but enjoy the competitive aspects of debate....; always enjoyed contending with business professionals...much different than having to deal with the general public in most instances.

win/win is good; some people don't ever get 'win/win'. they always play 'i win/you lose'.....those people, if i ahve to engage them, i push it into 'i win/you lose', or 'lose/lose' if i have to...since i am no stranger to losing, it don't bother me lol! i will patiently wait for the next round....while sharpening my plowshare lol!

human relations are funny, aint they

watch that gestault stuff...too much gestault int good for your blood pressure......
reb