The wrong answer game

Just one, but it has to be the right one.

What is normal?

Normal is what everyone here at HSP Dimension strives to be at all times. (Now THERE'S a wrong answer.)

Why?

Because aping the majority culture is the key to true happiness.

What really messed up the economy?

Squirrels hording away large piles of food supplies didn't leave enough for the rest of us.

What's the difference between crude oil and corn oil?

The stink builds up to critical mass until it becomes lethal.

What would you do if the water coming out of the faucet suddenly turned dark brown and opaque?

Oohh Sepia! I would paint earthtones! Dirt and such...dark trees...mix with indigo for a cool black....Ooooh!

Um....what did you ask me? I forgot!

I asked what universe you are occupying at the moment? (asked again...)

I occupy all universes at once, but right now my attention is focused on this really cool one where dinosaurs are at war with tomatoes and somehow it's a fair fight.

You're on a bus. The bus has a bomb wired to it. If the bus goes over 55 MPH, the bomb will explode. What do you do? What...do...you...do?

Go 100 mph and propel yourself into a number of alternate universes.

How do you know when you're overconnected with people?

If yer anything like me....you get all tangled up in the wires....hee!

Hey Mel....if i get enough wrong...will I eventually make it right?
[psst...do i get a prize? Oooh...goody goody!]

Yes you do get a prize. (Just remember the name of this game, lol. )

Is there an off switch for a kitty alarm clock? (inquiring minds want to know...)

There is, but do you really want to put your finger there...?

What's up?

gravity.

What seems so futile and necessary at the same time?

A dirty sock.

Why does Vanilla Ice pee in peoples' faces? (In his cover of "Play That Funky Music", he says that he's going to "stuff #1 in [your] face")

Because he's such a nice guy.

What is communism?

The new #6 combo at McDonald's.

What's the #7 combo?

Double cheese with heart attack to go

What does Blue Moon Kona taste like?

Guess.

What's a good alternative to lipstick?

Melted crayons.

During a drought, when is it most likely to rain?

Five nanoseconds after the last person drops dead of thirst.

What's the meaning of life insurance?

That's obvious; insuring that you don't die of course. (At least that's what the insurance companies are betting on.)

What's a reverse mortgage?

One that adds on payments...forever!
Do we really own anything?

There is no wrong answer to that; we own everything and nothing and all in between and it all owns us.

What do you get when you combine two volitile compounds together?

They fight for a while, then they have makeup sex.

Why is this thread nearly double the size of the next biggest thread?

Because it has huge appetites.

What's the best way to cook mushrooms?

The highway.

When does a divorce become final?

When a heart turns to stone.

How do you find the road to paradise?

You slam a random bystander against the nearest wall and scream in his or her face, "Paradise! Road! Spill it, you commie jackrabbit!"

Why do lovers hold hands?

To support one another through the very bumpy ride.

What is a fractal food?