Emotions

Teenage son uses this technique.......but we dont have a tough door on his bedroom........maybe we should get some reinforced hinges...

I found this technique most helpful when I had to release my angry stage.......and I agree with her feelings on using a pen and paper.......that actual physical act of writing....and using the body is so powerful in releasing....anger.

There it goes up in the sky........for no reason why,
there it goes up in the sky........and all I do is cry.

Alethia wrote:

There it goes up in the sky........for no reason why,
there it goes up in the sky........and all I do is cry.

This was very well done...loved the song. Apparently this is Final Fantasy (8?)...definitely not Full Metal. Whatever, it makes a great story.

Alethia wrote:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!

I found this for a friend, who was very interested and has some great info. If others are interested as well, here tis....

Ihttp://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Sabotage-Truth-Lies-Behind-the-Scenes&id=655788

Self-Sabotage-Truth Lies Behind the Scenes
By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
Level: Platinum

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Holistic Healer, Hypnosis and Regression. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for ...

The majority of people desire a happy, healthy, fulfilling, sustainable lifestyle, while simultaneously engaging in behaviors or beliefs that sabotage their aim. What? Who would do such a thing? What would compel intelligent and conscientious people to do anything less than fulfilling their happiness and health?

This paradox is compelling and frighteningly hidden. Everything we do has a secondary gain. On the surface each person is convinced that his/her behavior, even those that are considered dysfunctional or self-destructive--using so-called recreational drugs, smoking, being over weight--are part and parcel with life--and have little or no interference with leading one toward ones desired goals.

These secondary gains of negative behaviors are seldom obvious, but none-the-less is a misguided attempt at the happiness, health and fulfillment people desire. No one wakes up and says, "I want a miserable, unfulfilled, unhealthy life." What then prompts people to continue dysfunctional or self-destructive behaviors?

One of my clients, Lilly, was referred to me by a urologist. Her diagnosis was chronic bladder infections, a condition that is difficult to treat medically and creates pain and sensitivity in its victims. Through techniques and strategies, Metaphysical healing combines hypnotherapy, NLP, and philosophy, Lilly discovered that her symptoms were directly related to her dissatisfaction with her self-image. Further discovery lead to the understanding that her dissatisfaction had much deeper roots in her basic philosophy concerning life, expectations, and self-worth.

To begin the process of uncovering the secondary gains of Lilly's disease and create realignment, the person answers these four questions:

1) How does____ benefit my life? (in Lilly's case, a bladder infection). (Although this question seems to blame the victim, that such a painful syndrome could have "benefits," remember that all behaviors, attitudes and even diseases have underlying secondary benefits or we would not create or maintain them.)

2) How is ____ a detriment to my life?

3) How would not having _____ be a benefit to my life?

4) How would not having _____ be a detriment to my life?

Lilly discovered that bladder infections allowed her to assuage her shame and guilt about sexual activities she allowed herself to be talked into during her first marriage--which she had long-ago terminated. These answers revealed even deeper misalignment in her philosophical perspectives: She realized that her self-worth was linked to her belief and ability to 'be a dutiful woman' and please those around her--family, friends and work relationships. As she restructured her perspective and experienced a sense of self-worth beyond 'being dutiful' (her 'deep self'), she was able to release the symptoms of the bladder infection and renew her life focus to her real desires.

These dysfunctional or self-destructive behaviors can not take us to our goals, so they tend to escalate. For example a two-year old, who in his/her desire to receive love and attention, acts out by hitting or biting. Later the behavior may become promiscuity, jealous rage, or addiction. If the underlying issues are unaddressed, she/he may manifest physical symptoms--auto-immune disorders, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, lupus, fibromyalgia, etc.

There is compelling evidence of underlying psychological and emotional connections to the onset of disease. A 30-year study by Psychologists Suzanne C. Segerstrom, Ph.D., and Gregory E. Miller, Ph.D., revealed, "Stressful events reliably associate with changes in the immune system and...characteristics of those events are important in determining the kind of change that occurs." Louise Hay states, "Both the good in our lives and the dis-ease are the results of mental thought patterns which form our experiences. In order to permanently eliminate a condition, we must first work to dissolve the mental cause." "Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences." Caroline Myss

Clearly these researchers are stating, the nature of the stress incurred will determine the nature of the resulting condition. What is the main cause of stress? Years of research indicate that the root of stress is a misalignment between a person's true core values and their beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. This misalignment is the dissonance we feel between the bright, expansive being we can sense that we are ("deep self"), and our everyday experience of being bound to tradition, expectations, duty, obligation, or misconceptions about reality, adaptations and indoctrinations. Misalignments can manifest as seemingly trivial bad habits, which escalate to major misalignment often presenting as disease.

Metaphysical healing--Mind, Body, Spirit--is a process individually designed for developing sustained alignment vis-à-vis the self and reality. It is an inner adventure in self-discovery, resulting in a deep shift in perspective which adds substance, meaning and purpose to everyday life. The process combines personal philosophical reconstruction with specific proven strategies and techniques for achieving clarity, wellness and fulfillment. The ultimate goal of the process is to provide conscious access to the full spectrum of human potential and health.

Abraham Maslow, a renowned psychologist, who pioneered human personality studies, gave a profound description of the deep self: These moments, he believed, were of positive, pure, happiness, when all doubts, inhibitions, tensions, weaknesses, and fears were nullified. Wherein, self-consciousness, separateness and distance from the world disappeared. Maslow called these "peak experiences" because of their rarity, and yet described their curative power as going far beyond their brief duration. These states of consciousness and connectedness can be readily achieved provided one knows what to focus on. Utilizing a series of techniques and strategies that encourage alignment, anyone can achieve, "peak moments," enhancing self-discovery, positive personal growth, and health.

Metaphysical Healing--Mind, Body, Spirit works for everyone no matter how dire or inconsequential the situation may seem.

Hmmm . . . this sounds like the Law of Attraction taken to the extreme. I disagree that we subconsciously choose everything bad that happens to us, but this article is helpful for questioning our bad, self-destructive habits.

Have you ever thought about a soul contract nucky..........what lessons you decided to come here to learn from spirit which in turn contributes to the bigger picture...for all in your soul family including you? Its hard to see how some very very sad things are part of that picture but then I have seen some very very sad people move from a space of deep dark pain..into a space of incredible compassion and love...........sometimes the darker the space and journey the more profound this can be! As for those countries where people are starving and people dying and much more...........as hard as it is to explain and understand I do feel it is part of their journey..........that contributes to the whole.......it is very sad and sometimes we cannot understand.....why.

edited to add.....the subconscious I feel links to spirit and when we start "remembering" our true essence.........and let go of the contract we signed up for (well mabye we didnt sign on the dotted line but if you can envision it this way it helps)we then awaken to the soul as it was in spirit........in some ways when this is done............we have a clean slate to work with...if that is part of our contract...of course.

Alethia wrote:
I found this for a friend, who was very interested and has some great info. If others are interested as well, here tis....

Ihttp://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Sabotage-Truth-Lies-Behind-the-Scenes&id=655788

Self-Sabotage-Truth Lies Behind the Scenes
By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
Level: Platinum

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Holistic Healer, Hypnosis and Regression. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for ...

The majority of people desire a happy, healthy, fulfilling, sustainable lifestyle, while simultaneously engaging in behaviors or beliefs that sabotage their aim. What? Who would do such a thing? What would compel intelligent and conscientious people to do anything less than fulfilling their happiness and health?

This paradox is compelling and frighteningly hidden. Everything we do has a secondary gain. On the surface each person is convinced that his/her behavior, even those that are considered dysfunctional or self-destructive--using so-called recreational drugs, smoking, being over weight--are part and parcel with life--and have little or no interference with leading one toward ones desired goals.

These secondary gains of negative behaviors are seldom obvious, but none-the-less is a misguided attempt at the happiness, health and fulfillment people desire. No one wakes up and says, "I want a miserable, unfulfilled, unhealthy life." What then prompts people to continue dysfunctional or self-destructive behaviors?

One of my clients, Lilly, was referred to me by a urologist. Her diagnosis was chronic bladder infections, a condition that is difficult to treat medically and creates pain and sensitivity in its victims. Through techniques and strategies, Metaphysical healing combines hypnotherapy, NLP, and philosophy, Lilly discovered that her symptoms were directly related to her dissatisfaction with her self-image. Further discovery lead to the understanding that her dissatisfaction had much deeper roots in her basic philosophy concerning life, expectations, and self-worth.

To begin the process of uncovering the secondary gains of Lilly's disease and create realignment, the person answers these four questions:

1) How does____ benefit my life? (in Lilly's case, a bladder infection). (Although this question seems to blame the victim, that such a painful syndrome could have "benefits," remember that all behaviors, attitudes and even diseases have underlying secondary benefits or we would not create or maintain them.)

2) How is ____ a detriment to my life?

3) How would not having _____ be a benefit to my life?

4) How would not having _____ be a detriment to my life?

Lilly discovered that bladder infections allowed her to assuage her shame and guilt about sexual activities she allowed herself to be talked into during her first marriage--which she had long-ago terminated. These answers revealed even deeper misalignment in her philosophical perspectives: She realized that her self-worth was linked to her belief and ability to 'be a dutiful woman' and please those around her--family, friends and work relationships. As she restructured her perspective and experienced a sense of self-worth beyond 'being dutiful' (her 'deep self'), she was able to release the symptoms of the bladder infection and renew her life focus to her real desires.

These dysfunctional or self-destructive behaviors can not take us to our goals, so they tend to escalate. For example a two-year old, who in his/her desire to receive love and attention, acts out by hitting or biting. Later the behavior may become promiscuity, jealous rage, or addiction. If the underlying issues are unaddressed, she/he may manifest physical symptoms--auto-immune disorders, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, lupus, fibromyalgia, etc.

There is compelling evidence of underlying psychological and emotional connections to the onset of disease. A 30-year study by Psychologists Suzanne C. Segerstrom, Ph.D., and Gregory E. Miller, Ph.D., revealed, "Stressful events reliably associate with changes in the immune system and...characteristics of those events are important in determining the kind of change that occurs." Louise Hay states, "Both the good in our lives and the dis-ease are the results of mental thought patterns which form our experiences. In order to permanently eliminate a condition, we must first work to dissolve the mental cause." "Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences." Caroline Myss

Clearly these researchers are stating, the nature of the stress incurred will determine the nature of the resulting condition. What is the main cause of stress? Years of research indicate that the root of stress is a misalignment between a person's true core values and their beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. This misalignment is the dissonance we feel between the bright, expansive being we can sense that we are ("deep self"), and our everyday experience of being bound to tradition, expectations, duty, obligation, or misconceptions about reality, adaptations and indoctrinations. Misalignments can manifest as seemingly trivial bad habits, which escalate to major misalignment often presenting as disease.

Metaphysical healing--Mind, Body, Spirit--is a process individually designed for developing sustained alignment vis-à-vis the self and reality. It is an inner adventure in self-discovery, resulting in a deep shift in perspective which adds substance, meaning and purpose to everyday life. The process combines personal philosophical reconstruction with specific proven strategies and techniques for achieving clarity, wellness and fulfillment. The ultimate goal of the process is to provide conscious access to the full spectrum of human potential and health.

Abraham Maslow, a renowned psychologist, who pioneered human personality studies, gave a profound description of the deep self: These moments, he believed, were of positive, pure, happiness, when all doubts, inhibitions, tensions, weaknesses, and fears were nullified. Wherein, self-consciousness, separateness and distance from the world disappeared. Maslow called these "peak experiences" because of their rarity, and yet described their curative power as going far beyond their brief duration. These states of consciousness and connectedness can be readily achieved provided one knows what to focus on. Utilizing a series of techniques and strategies that encourage alignment, anyone can achieve, "peak moments," enhancing self-discovery, positive personal growth, and health.

Metaphysical Healing--Mind, Body, Spirit works for everyone no matter how dire or inconsequential the situation may seem.

I agree with this in most part; just not completely. What comes our way may be beyond our control as other things we are connected to have control as well and it is the mix that determines it's beginnings. For example something that happens to our ancesters a few generations back can determine what happens to you now--epigenetics.

Another example; you get bit by a mosquito. Your fault? I don't think so, not completely. It is what happens after that that we have control over, the eventual outcome. Hidden parts of oneself can and do sabotague efforts all the time. If you can find what it is that you've hidden from yourself, you have an excellent chance of ending whatever misery you struggle with from depression to illness to fear.

Part of it is remembering the events that put those hidden things in there in the first place so you can uncover them; fears, anxieties, assumptions, past hurts--most of them seem to happen when we are quite young and the assumptions we make then influence our lives as long as they are hidden.

Not buying this:
"Both the good in our lives and the dis-ease are the results of mental thought patterns which form our experiences. In order to permanently eliminate a condition, we must first work to dissolve the mental cause." "Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences." Caroline Myss"

Nope. I'm not saying we don't affect things, or maybe cause some anxiety related issues (or maybe even some cancers) , but to say disease is the result of thought patterns is ludicrous. I don't mean to throw the baby out with the bathwater...but once again we have people building careers and professional practices based on very poor assumptions...it's a long way from affecting to causing in my book.
Yes, self destructive behaviors are bad...and do mess up our lives...but not to the physical extent being claimed here.

I suspect Caroline Mysss' work as a medical intuitive is here to support all those who connect to her and use her principals to heal their illness......Her reality is there for anyone who connects and feels it is a path to recovery and wellness........she speaks as she sees it......most of it from her incredibly strong intuitive diagnosis.........a gift in my eyes. Those that have come to connect to this space of healing through her gift, are just one spectrum of the whole..........and a very positive one if I may say also.....If some of us didnt think outside our own reality, we may never tap into those spaces that are a path to our healing.....our soul journey..I know my own journey was to step outside my own reality, had I not followed what connected........I would have been living a very miserable exsistence

Sorry if I seem like a wet blanket...I can see where the basic idea comes from, and I'm not denying a link...it's just the sweeping statements that don't work for me.

no wet blanket.........at all.........I value your input on all levels..........we can only see things as we see them from our own reality and perspective and their is nothing wrong with that.........at all...........I can see where you come from.....from your space and thats you and your beleifs...........all good in my eyes! I just put my two cents out there from my perspective........not right..not wrong........just is the way I see it......

I appreciate this Alethia. I feel the same way...I like seeing what others have to say, as long as they don't try to tell me that their way is "the way" and my way is wrong...which you have not done. Thank you.

Ordinary forgiveness is 'letting bygones be bygones'. A certain willingness to forgive is implied but the belief something wrong happened is never questioned. “You did that to me, but I’ll let you off the hook and forgive you.”

Research based at Seattle University, WA showed that ordinary forgiveness:
(a) is universally difficult.
(b) takes a long time - typically years. (Success was defined as finally feeling peaceful about the situation.)
(c) The more people tried to ‘will’ forgiveness, the longer it took.
(d) Most people required extensive therapy before any movement occurred at all.

Radical Forgiveness on the other hand, has none of these difficulties. It can be virtually instantaneous; it is easy to do; it requires no therapy and very little intelligence beyond being able to follow some very simple steps.

Holding on to the belief that ‘a crime’ has occurred while trying to forgive gives traditional forgiveness the quality of an oxymoron. How can you can possibly forgive if you are invested in that judgment? No wonder it takes years! Qualities of compassion, humility and tolerance move us towards it, but they do not, in my view, constitute forgiveness itself. So when it does finally occur maybe time has simply worn down our attachment to our judgments. When we say “time heals” perhaps we are recognizing that we will some day simply become weary of holding on. But oh, what a struggle!

Radical Forgiveness, on the other hand, is easy and instantaneous because it is a shift in perception that allows you to understand that, in truth, looked at from the perspective of the spiritual ‘big picture,’ nothing wrong ever happened.

What brings about such a radical shift in perception - especially in situations where one feels very vicitimized and hurt? Surprisingly, it requires only a willingness to accept the possibility that life is not simply a series of random and haphazard events but is, in fact, the unfoldment of a Divine plan that is unfolding for us exactly how it needs to unfold for our spiritual growth. In other words, every event, however pleasant or unpleasant, has been called forth by a Higher Aspect of ourselves that knows exactly what we need for our own healing. When we live more out of that idea than the victim story, life begins to work perfectly.

So how do we get there? Well, lack of forgiveness is nothing more than stuck energy, caused by past judgments, criticisms, blame and resentments. The way forward is use tools or processes that help us release that stuck energy, raise our vibration and become the loving beings we have the potential to be.

THE PROCESS OF RADICAL FORGIVENESS.
In my workshops, I help people to shift the energy and move into Radical Forgiveness by basically following these five steps:

1. Tell the Story: You must begin from where you are. You are a spiritual being having a human experience that involves emotional experiences. We make it up that emotions are undesirable and wrong, so when we get upset about something we make up a ‘victim’s story’ and blame others for our unhappiness. Having that story heard and witnessed is the first step to letting it go. Likewise, the first step in releasing victimhood is to own it fully. So, in this step, you tell your story, and it is honored as your truth in the moment.

2. Feel the Feelings: Here you are encouraged to feel the feelings. It is the vital step that many so-called spiritual people want to leave out thinking that they shouldn’t have ‘negative’ feelings. That’s denial and misses the crucial point that the feelings is where the authentic power is and that our strength, in fact, lies in our vulnerability and our willingness to show up as fully human. You cannot heal what you don’t feel. When people access their pain, this is the beginning of their healing.

But this is not necessarily digging up the past. In fact, doing so is not necessary at all. Whatever is upsetting you now represents the past and following the feelings (the energy), as they are occurring while you tell your story, automatically heals the past pain. It is not even necessary to know what the original pain was. That’s why I say that Radical Forgiveness requires no therapy.

3. Collapse the Story: This takes the power out of the victim story you made up. The Navajo Indians had a ceremony for doing this. Anyone with a grievance could come to the circle three times to tell their story, and they would be heard. On the fourth occasion everyone would turn their backs. “Enough already! Your story is just a story. There’s no real truth to it - it is just an illusion. We have heard it three times and we no longer wish to give it power. Let it go and then let yourself move towards what is really true.”

4. Do a Radical Forgiveness Reframe: Here we replace the ‘illusionary’ story with another story - the Radical Forgiveness ‘story.’ This one says that what appeared to have happened, far from being a tragedy, was in fact exactly what we wanted to experience and was in that sense, absolutely perfect.

This is often very difficult to accept, but the good thing is it does not require you see WHY it is perfect, or that you must GET the lesson involved. It is nearly always beyond our ability to comprehend anyway, so it's a waste of time trying to figure it out. Willingness is all that is required You just have to be willing to open to the idea that there is a gift in it somewhere, and then choose peace. It really is that simple. When we get used to thinking this way, it’s amazing how simple and easy life becomes. It’s so freeing to stop resisting (judging) life and surrender to what wants to naturally occur. Life with Radical Forgiveness can be very sweet.

5. Integration: After you have allowed yourself to be willing to see the perfection in the situation, it is necessary to integrate that change at the cellular level. That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies so it becomes a part of who you are. It’s like saving what you have done on the computer to the hard drive. Only then will it become permanent. I find that breathwork is the best way to integrate this work and I seldom ever do a Radical Forgiveness workshop without what I call a ‘Satori’ breath session. Other ways to integrate is through speaking affirmations, walking, doing forgiveness worksheets, ritual and ceremony.

In the Forgiveness Tools section of my book I give extensive instruction on how to use the forgiveness worksheet. This simple tool embodies all the above steps and has proven most effective in helping people to shift the energy around situations. The same is true of a process called The 13 Steps to Forgiveness, which is the same process but on CD. It simply requires you to listen to 13 questions to which you answer "Yes." It sounds so simple - and it really is. But it is also extremely powerful.

Radical Forgiveness is the only real forgiveness. It is simple, quick and brings immediate relief. This forgiveness is permanent and when one has integrated it well enough into everyday life for it to become a way of life, life becomes infinitely less stressful, more peaceful and a whole lot happier.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/How_Radical_Forgiveness_Works.html

"As long as we remain in the field of duality there will always be a subject (me) and object (my experience of the world). For each of us, every moment is a new opportunity to recognize Oneness, when knower, knowing and knowingness alone remain held in awareness."
...excerpted from Walk on Water: How to Make Change Easier

The very act of wondering, "Will I succeed or not?" saps their ability to act and succeed. The best way to be confident and take action is to be in Oneness with the action you wish to take. I remember vividly how a gold medal Olympic athlete responded when asked, "What does it take to win the gold medal?" He answered something akin to: I forget about competing and remember I love to swim! Become united with the source of the action and success is a byproduct.

Time and space, body and mind, and material existence all exist in the field of duality. To transcend means to go beyond this field, from duality to Oneness. And yet in transcending duality we must also include duality in the Oneness:

A raindrop falls into the ocean. It is separate from the ocean (in the field of duality) until it merges into the ocean. At that time what happens to the raindrop? Does it lose its existence? No, it has just made the journey from duality to Oneness.
http://www.walkonwaterthebook.com/from_duality_to_oneness.html