Is Kindness our natural state?

This question came up on a different post and it brought forth lots of thought from me so I thought I would post it as a separate topic. Honestly, I'm uncertain as to what beliefs I have on this. There is a part of me that agrees and another part that doesn't. And then I question just what is our natural state? To me there is the natural physical state (which has differing varieties) and then our natural spiritual state. But then if what I'm learning on the spiritual stuff is totally true, there is no duality, everything just is. So you can see where my monkey mind is running amok here. What about you, what do you think about this.

Hmm good question Nan. I guess I believe that our natural, divine state is one born out of love. I believe that we are truly being our authentic selves if we care about the collective whole and not just ourselves. I think it is natural to have compassion and concern for other human beings but I think it's something that people choose to shut off or don't know how to access perhaps?

Luna wrote:Hmm good question Nan. I guess I believe that our natural, divine state is one born out of love. I believe that we are truly being our authentic selves if we care about the collective whole and not just ourselves. I think it is natural to have compassion and concern for other human beings but I think it's something that people choose to shut off or don't know how to access perhaps?

I tend to agree with Luna that "love" is more the natural state...that all encompases. At least this is what my soul feels to be true. If this is so then "kindness...compassion" or some derivative thereof would be essential for us also to attain this state of being. Sort of the natural pathway for this "goal"...if we could even dare call it that. Perhaps it just "is" eventually....as "enlightenment" may also be.
Peace...

See, while I tend to favor that compassion is a natural state, what about those, as MC said, are born damaged? Then their natural state would be something other than compassion. It's like karma plays a big part in this whole thing, too. And supposedly we enter into a physical form because that is how we learn, how we do "practical application" of various concepts. So maybe I'm just going to deeper levels here instead of just saying, yeah, this is how it is. My sense is that it does go deeper than we realize.

I believe that the opposite is true. Most people seem to have an instinct that tells them that they have to be mean to get things done and to keep their defenses up.

We see this instinct in many animals in the wild, situations involving competition over resources or mates nearly always result in extreme aggression.

I do believe that we are rare in that all of us have somehow overridden this natural instinct to an extent where kindness feels natural to us. We attract who we are, which is why so many charitable individuals have gathered here and at OHH.

Another reason why I think it's GREAT not to be all-natural!

melodiccolor wrote:
Kindness does not mean one becomes a doormat.

I agree, but it seems to me that most people are predisposed towards meanness and hostility. Most people seem to think that you have to be mean to maintain your competitive edge. "Nice guys finish last" is practically considered a proverb. Of course, I think that's completely wrong.

Yeah, I seem to bring out the worst in people for some reason. That's always been true of me, ever since early childhood.

melodiccolor wrote:I've thought about this some more. In reviewing people I know, it is often that people are capable of both kindness and cruelty in the same person. I've seen people seem to be nice, do kindness for others and then totally devastate someone for some imagined slight or just because they found them annoying.

I can be like that. I'm not always one to turn the other cheek. But I really have to be provoked.

Another thing that complicates the issue is that such slights aren't imagined by the person who believes (s)he is victimized by them.

nuckinfutz wrote:Another thing that complicates the issue is that such slights aren't imagined by the person who believes (s)he is victimized by them.

I agree, I find this to be very true.

I believe we are social animals, with survival instincts. Especially, as infants, we are dependant, and consequently, we will begin to develop those traits that will endear us to others, and kindness might grow from this natural instinct to protect and be protective. Aggression, likewise, is a natural defensive instinct, and while not bad, in and of itself, it can lead towards selfish and antisocial behaviors if one does not learn how to keep it in check. Ha! And now, my biases are showing, in that I prefer that protective instinct over the aggressive instinct, but both are important for survival, and are morally indifferent. So, I subscribe to the mixed-bag hypotheses, that we are our nature is both good and bad, and kind and cruel.

How we balance these instincts probably moves us into the domain of morality. Do we differ from other animals, in this regard? Perhaps. We are able to make some conscious decisions about how we behave. And I believe we have a spiritual nature that might differ from animals', and that spirit might help us override, what we term, our baser instincts. But the development of this spiritual nature is not a given, and must be learned.

I am unsure what I believe about this at this point of my life. I used to believe it was every bodies instinct to be kind and that environment damaged their souls into something else. I am not so sure now. I truly am just tired of making excuses for everyone.