The HSP Dimension: Expressions of Highly Sensitive People
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Saying goodbye gracefully

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waterdragon7
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Post by melodiccolor Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:45 pm

How are you at saying goodbye at the end of a conversation? On the phone, in chat or visiting people? I've noticed that alot of us HSPs seem to not be very good at it; either too abrupt, too long or simply fading away to avoid it altogether. What are some of your ways?
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Post by BlueTopaz Thu Apr 21, 2011 6:50 am

Interesting question.
In chat, I like to let everyone know definitely that I am leaving. I also want everyone to feel acknowledged and that I have enjoyed spending time with them.

On the phone is a different story, lol. As is known, I have phone phobia. I just don't like talking on the phone. I think part of the reason is that I very often feel bad or misunderstood after a phone conversation. At any rate, I am tentative ending a phone conversation even though I'm getting better at it. I often let a conversation go on much longer than I expect, mostly because I am so passive, I think.

Visiting people I don't think I have a problem. In physical presence I am pretty confident and even assertive. I think I strike a good balance.
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Post by waterdragon7 Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:19 pm

I don't know what to say here, as I usually only answer my prepaid phone about every third time it rings, and never if it's a call from a number I do not know. But it is always difficult for me to say goodbye gracefully.
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Post by melodiccolor Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:10 pm

I tend to get lost in time....so enjoying visits that I miss cues that others want to end things sometimes. But in person, I am pretty good at saying goodbye usually. On the phone, usually both me and the person I am speaking to have a problem....we start talking again after saying goodbye, lol.

But I can also fade or be a bit too abrupt if I am not engaged and feel pressure from my h to leave too. I need to focus on the rituals of goodbye more I guess. Abruptness is usually an awkward attempt to end something when the other doesn't want to, but I must go.


In chat, I noticed people tend to say goodbye a few different ways when ready to leave...awkward in trying to be polite. That's ok, but noticing that is what spawned this thread to explore the issue further.
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Post by Reamsie Fri Apr 22, 2011 2:28 pm

In chat I try to let people know, but I have been guilty of just up and leaving. I don't like the telephone, that's probably the biggest reason why, because I can never seem to end the conversation. It's easier for me when I'm having a conversation face to face, but I sometimes miss those clues too.
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Post by Luna Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:51 pm

This is something I'm afraid I'm not great at. I am also phone phobic and part of the reason is the awkwardness in saying goodbye. In the past I've tried to say things like "well I should be going now.." only to have the other person ramble on and on and not take my cues that I'm trying to end the call and as such ending up on the phone much longer than I'm comfortable. In a chat I think I'm a bit better but then seem to linger on and say goodbye too many times because yes I want to acknowledge everyone there and that I enjoyed our time together. In person I find hard too. I always seem to be the first one trying to find a way out of a conversation and sometimes it leads to awkwardness, ie thinking a conversation is over and making a move away from the person, and then they keep going and I have to move back and continue on. I feel like ending interactions with people is something I definitely struggle with.
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Post by Nucky Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:11 pm

Usually, when I'm leaving, I try my best to acknowledge everyone, and I feel confident that I usually do.

Something that I have a VERY hard time with, however, is leaving a chat when a topic is disturbing to me. This doesn't happen all that often, but when it does, I can't seem to be able to leave a chat in any way that satisfies the chatters who wish to discuss the topic. They are offended when I leave too abruptly, they are offended if I quietly fade away, and everything in between. I respect the rights of the other chatters to discuss what they wish, but I feel that I can't win when I just don't want to participate in the discussion of a certain topic.
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Post by frmthhrt Sun Apr 24, 2011 8:21 pm

I am not offended by someone leaving a chat or conversation abruptly. It's never any skin off of my teeth, and I don't blame someone for leaving a conversation that they do not appreciate...I have done the same myself, more than once...and it's often better to leave without explanation than to stay and get into a disagreement or confrontation. I have been guilty of going off and doing something else while there is a topic that I do not enjoy, or can not relate to...and sometimes I just disappear.
I am used to having a conversation end abruptly as well...my father-in-law never says goodbye; he just finishes his sentence, and then 'click' he is gone.
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