What does the "sensitive" in "highly sensitive person' really mean?

For many people, mostly non-HSPs, when I say that I am sensitive they think: too sensitive...
perhaps wishy-washy, cry too much, touchy, take things too personally
In other words, an entire range of predominantly negative things

and for me, many of that is true.
But...
according to the experts, the sensitive in HSP is not all that emotional stuff as much as it is physical. Our nervous systems are more reactive, more highly attuned. Common manifestations:
music too loud
clothes too scratchy
perfume too overpowering
or in another sense... my being able to write a vivid story or paint an extraordinary picture because I see and experience in an extraordinary way.

In my personal case, I think that being a child in a world that did not take into account my peculiar nervous system (how could it?) or even down-right discounted it, I came away with some psychic damage.

Is my reserve, my touchiness, my proclivity to depression is another aspect of HSP? What about the extroverts that are HSP?

On this board we have a broad spectrum of personality types and personal experience, all HSP.
What do you think the sensitive in HSP means?
What has been your experience?

For me sensitive means physically so. I pick up so much more, experience more than most people.

I see more colors, hear a wider range of sound, have a more acute sense of smell and taste and a highly tuned tactile senses ability. In addition, I can sense directly through something within me that gets filtered through my intuitive abilities. All of these in conjunction yeild an incredible amount of information that I experience at every instance of my life. Perhaps my vivid imagination and creative abilities also benefit from this greatly.

The world didn't accomidate me either. I was the kid adults didn't know how to deal with so wanted not to, or was labled a hypochondriac; my discomfort routinely dismissed as nothing. I was told constantly to not be so sensitive, that I was exagerating or imagining things. The other children bullied me as they do all who are different.

That said, I did have a couple of safe havens where I was accepted for myself, and I spent time in them daily if I could. Because of that, my self esteem was always good.

Blue Topaz, being naturally reserved and extraordinarily sensitive to other's emotions might have as much to do with being INFJ as it does with being HSP. Interestingly, I have yet to meet an INFJ even outside an HSP board that did not also prove to be HSP. Being both, I too am naturally reserved.

I wrote a very long post, and just lost it all! It involved climbing Mt. Everest, and touching god (in a non-sexual way, of course), and of course flowers, lots of flowers....I'm going to bed now, and of course, will write a much more sensible post tommorrow.
It was just as weird as my explanation that tarot works by quantuam psychics...I love quatuam psychics, if only I could do high mathematics.

adain wrote:I wrote a very long post, and just lost it all! It involved climbing Mt. Everest, and touching god (in a non-sexual way, of course), and of course flowers, lots of flowers....I'm going to bed now, and of course, will write a much more sensible post tommorrow.
It was just as weird as my explanation that tarot works by quantuam psychics...I love quatuam psychics, if only I could do high mathematics.

IIRC, you are interested in science and it's approaches to this topic. So, perhaps you have heard of the scientist Richard Feynman ?

Yesterday I watched (for the second time) an interview with Richard in which he makes the point that one with a deeper understanding of mathematics can better appreciate a flower. I have mixed idea's on that.

LOL Adain. Yes flowers, lots of flowers.

I would love to read your discussion on tarot and quantum physics.
I love the idea of the energetic particle being in two places at once. Since our thoughts are energy of some unquantified type, could they two be in 2 places at once... esp, telekinesis....

When I was in engineering school I reveled in math, calculus, differential equations. But math is very much like a language in that if you don't use it you lose it. Reading and working string theory equations was recreation for me. Not so much anymore. Too much tv has cooked my brain.

This is my INTJ side coming out and perhaps the 5 of the ennegram.
The INFJ is sleeping in.
(I'm an IN*J with the F and T fighting each other daily.)

RBM,
Yes, I've heard of Richard Feynman.
Bluey,
Ha! Personally watching some one work through an equation (a really big one) is a bit like watching an artist paint a masterpiece. Alas mathematics is like a lock which I have no key for...I can still appreciate results though.
P.S. I never thought I would ever forget how to balance a chemical reaction!

As promised my serious answer to Bluey's question;
Sensitive = difference in perception.
I see, hear, feel, and sense differently.....because of this, I have spent a long time feeling alone. I used to scream and shout alot when I was a kid, trying to make myself understood (and sometimes still do as an adult if I'm beig truthful). I've come reliese though, because I percieve on a slightly different level, non-hsp's simply don't have the equipment to understand. Especially with HSP children, they spend a lot of time trying to fit everybody into thier little boxes, and I'm a squiggle, damn it! LOL.
I have struggled a long time, trying to fit....not that I would change that now. I've come to reliese, I have to understand non-HSP more, not the other way round. The way I see it, HSP's are little beacons of light, guiding others on thier path. Unfortuanately, where there is light, there is shadows, and I too have had battles with depression. I think to be truly balanced though, you have to be aware of the darkness within.
Anyway, I dribbling on. Oddly in my first post, I was more cohesive in my POV. Anyway now I view HSP as a true gift, with all gifts it comes with a price, but one I really don't mind paying now. I couldn't imagine being a non-HSP....I'd rather imagine the world would be a bit less colourful, and in some ways, just a bit harder to navigate in. That's why we have to be the beacon holders....a bit lonely, but necessary!
Which means we some times we have to go down the path less trodden, as well.
See, inspite of all our pains and hurts, being gifted with a slightly perception brings us slightly closer to the universe, we are more connected some how. I'm in no way saying we are some how better, no, not all at all, I think our battles with darkness and depression humble us to much for that bizzo, but that's our pay off for having a much more difficult path to tread. See, sometimes we get to see that meadow of wild flowers first!
This answer isn't quite as colourful as the one last night!

Cool topic!

For me the sensitive part is very emotional, even though I feel emotionally empty a lot of the time. I get the impression from others that I don't share their feelings, their ability to sympathise, or the feelings behind their reactions in social situations. It's strange. Part of me is extremely sensitive to people in particular, their moods, behaviour and energy levels. But another part is emotionally disconnected from them, and I can often have difficulty relating to them because of this.

Also my sensitivity is to creative things, like music... I derive a lot of pleasure from just listening to music, and also creating it.

Also I'm actually finding that lately I'm much more outgoing, and my sensitivity to others has been very helpful in developing my social skills. From their reactions I can gauge how I should behave in order to get along with them, of course I can't get along with everyone, but in most cases it works reasonably well.

Oneriros, your post was so interesting.
This is just the kind of thing I was wondering about.
I often feel emotionally disconnected too, I think sometimes it is a case of overwhelm. Sometimes I just can't take all that input-- or don't want to.

I like that you have used your sensitivity to develop your social side. Very cool.

Adain, I totally agree. We are the lookouts. And even though being HSP has often been challenging, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I often feel emotionally disconnected from people as well. Which I'm beginning to realize is a good thing.

I wish I had an override switch, that activates much sooner than it does, it's not fun being plugged in during other people's emotion surges, let alone my own. So funny, when I work in Pathology, I get called emo, doing tarot, everybody thinks I'm very controlled emotionally. Go figure? LOL, you can have a bit of ärtistic" temperment, and get away with it, it seems, but I'm like "what? settle petal." My mentor thinks it's great, I'm not tempermental. I'm slightly confused though. It seems I'm not the high strung head case I was painted to be. I was starting to believe it.

adain wrote:I wish I had an override switch, that activates much sooner than it does, it's not fun being plugged in during other people's emotion surges, let alone my own. So funny, when I work in Pathology, I get called emo, doing tarot, everybody thinks I'm very controlled emotionally. Go figure? LOL, you can have a bit of ärtistic" temperment, and get away with it, it seems, but I'm like "what? settle petal." My mentor thinks it's great, I'm not tempermental. I'm slightly confused though. It seems I'm not the high strung head case I was painted to be. I was starting to believe it.

Amen

Indeed. Some call me high strung, and I am intense. Others call me amazingly level headed and I am that too.

It is possible for us all to be intense, feel emotion strongly and still be level headed. I think it's all part of the hsp mix.

melodiccolor wrote:It is possible for us all to be intense, feel emotion strongly and still be level headed. I think it's all part of the hsp mix.

Hmm yes I think so too. I've been called al of those things. I think we can be feeling really strong emotions at the same time as projecting an outward reserve or calm too.

I think sensitivity in HSP can manifest in so many different forms, it can be physical sensitivities to things like light, textures (ie in clothing), chemicals, smells, food sensitivities, allergies etc etc
It can be mental or emotional, ie: being touchy, taking things personally, feeling emotions more deeply than others.

It's interesting that people have mentioned that they feel reserved or detached emotionally. I think maybe in some ways this is kind of an HSP coping mechanisms. I know I put up walls as a defense to keep from getting hurt because when I get hurt it can be quite deeply. So... I try to go to the other spectrum and not feel and be stoic at times.

For me personally I think the main ways it manifests are emotional. I do have physical sensitivities but I think for me it is feeling emotions very strongly and also being sensitive to things like art, music, and the beauty in nature. I also feel energies from other people really strongly and often have to put up that barrier to keep myself on a somewhat even keel.

Smells..They are very hard for me. I have a hard time going places because of them. They overwhelm me.

Bright lights make me dizzy.

Sounds..I cannot take sounds coming from all directions. It makes me feel as if I am coming out of my skin.

Dirt, I am not sure if it is from being HSP or OCD. But I get claustrophobic when I am surrounded by dirt.

Adain, I am with you on flowers. before I became ill I had the prettiest yard in my town. I gardened daily. It is so calming & relaxing. It is my favorite pastime in the entire world.
Empathy: I hate it! It is crippling. I try to not make friends because of it.
I also can find a reason for everyone. I excuse all kinds of behavior & analyze everything. I feel sorry for everyone even the mean ones.....because I "know" they had no chance.

Emotional sensitivity. I cry over the most trivial things. Things hurt my feelings other people would brush off. I have this silly notion that everyone should love one another & help each other live in harmony. Of course that isn't how things are at all. So, I spend much of my time being very sad for everyone that doesn't know how to love each other. It is a big thing for me. Something I truly do not understand why people do not strive for.

melodiccolor wrote:Indeed. Some call me high strung, and I am intense. Others call me amazingly level headed and I am that too.

It is possible for us all to be intense, feel emotion strongly and still be level headed. I think it's all part of the hsp mix.

i also have been told i was intense, too intense for people to handle. i was once told that my outside i seem very contained but inside is this big intense world. like my emotions do not fit in my physical body. i feel high strung sometimes.
i can switch to level headed, i consider that the front i put on for dealing with people.
sometimes i just feel so overwhelmed by my emotions. i am still trying to figure out what sensitive means to me.

Luna wrote:

melodiccolor wrote:It is possible for us all to be intense, feel emotion strongly and still be level headed. I think it's all part of the hsp mix.

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It's interesting that people have mentioned that they feel reserved or detached emotionally. I think maybe in some ways this is kind of an HSP coping mechanisms. I know I put up walls as a defense to keep from getting hurt because when I get hurt it can be quite deeply. So... I try to go to the other spectrum and not feel and be stoic at times.

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Hello... Just wanted to jump in on this, in this old thread and also respond to the original question. I'm beginning to slowly read through the forum (I'm new) and haven't even begin to really scratch the surface but was encouraged to add my two cents regardless... so here it is...

I also sometimes feel greatly detached from others emotionally. I have had others go so far as to call me cold or cool. I think it is because, one, I feel numb, because I am simply emotionally exhausted and I cannot relate to anyone, let alone myself any longer. But also... I think it has a lot to do with who I am dealing with. I need quite a lot of trust to be able to fully open up to someone and show my true face. However... I do feel things quite deeply and outwardly I project a calm face. Though... as I come more fully into myself... the facade is harder to... "control". Still there are moments when I must. I don't think being highly sensitive is about how you project yourself. How you project yourself is the persona you present to the world and some of that can be in how you relate to others. If I don't know someone well... I will only show some of myself, and I will also feel guarded. So... as a coping mechanism, this is very true. I very much feel this way with my biological family, who put me through a sort of HSP hell, when I was a child. I resorted to living in my own little fantasy world to get through most of it, but as an adult, I can be very reserved towards them... and in fact, I refuse to talk to most of them... and I do feel cut off. It's definitely a coping mechanism. I can't trust easily... and it's a huge issue for me... for me trust must be earned... or I watch others until I know that they are trust worthy... and it takes years for me to truly get to that point. Mostly... cause I trusted openly as a child and it burned me badly... But... on that note...

Sensitivity for me is in many ways much more than emotional. I *am* very in touch with my emotions most of the time, though for years I wasn't... and I disassociated from what was happening inside of me, as a coping mechanism. Because of this... there were a lot of behaviors that I were unhealthy... that I used to survive. Emotionally... as an INFP... there is a preference to filter everything through emotion and intuition. I do sense quite a lot through intuition... though I recognize that some of it has to do with subtle cues that I get from my environment. However... there is the extrasensory abilities that I consider as part of my intuitive abilities... such as sensing energy, being empathic... occasionally catching thoughts... etc. And of course... there is the sensitivity to bright light... to smells (I smell things that many people seem mystified that I can smell... even sometimes with other HSPs)... to sounds. And there are times when my senses are much more sharp than other times. For me sensitivity is emotional, but it's so much more. Historically... sensitivity has been defined by my family as being about how emotional, irrational, and insane they thought me as. When my brother's girlfriend met me... she thought I would be this crazy person talking to myself and randomly screaming for no apparent reason... the way the family talks about me (even now). She was actually surprised to find how rational and thoughtful I am. How we *are* as sensitives is much different from how we are perceived, much of the time, I think. And as someone else said in one of the other comments... I agree that it must be difficult for non-HSPs to understand us because they simply don't have the same kind of filters that we do and it's difficult to understand something from an experience you simply don't have. (Though I think as HSPs we tend to be better at understanding other sides of experience that we don't have... probably because many of us can or tend to be... intuitive?)

Hope that made sense... I wish to delve in and read more, rather than spend several minutes editing my writing! LOL

I think "sensitive" almost means to be mindful (bodyful?)...maybe simultaneously mindful of all of the subtleties in our environment and in ourselves. Sensitivity translates to me as "having a lot going on."

Emotional and physical reactions at the same time together...

For me, Sensitivity is multidimensional.

On the physical level, my abilities to notice things visually or to hear intricate and distant sounds are very acute.

Because I read and study so much, I live in my head; the realm of my mind.

Usually, to cope with over arousal, I block out any stimuli that I find jarring.

What does my mind do in reaction? It sends jolts through my body constantly until I face the very thing I was attempting to block out. It is pretty harsh to endure.

To me, Being sensitive also means that:

- When the moon is full, I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep
- I can sense people's weaknesses; so, when I tire of taking their abuse, I become quite vicious and enjoy it
- I instinctively arouse visceral reactions from people
- My interests and desires have a life of their own. I don't control them.
- It usually take 3 to 6 months (in my personal experience) for people to catch up and understand my ideas. First, I seem like a fool and then it all makes sense to them. The natural consequence is that: if I want something done the way I think is best, I have to do it myself. It's difficult.
- My energy is volatile/out of control
- My level of energy is a strong influence on my results and with all the demands of society. It difficult to get enough rest and manage it properly
- I see layers of complexity in what is supposed to be simple/easy.

To sum it up, It means being aware of SO much more.

Edit: I wanted to add that it feels like like I'm flying blind. I have to figure everything out by myself because what works for the majority usually doesn't for me and when there is a rule, I find myself in the exception.

Yep, you're definintely HSP and no longer alone! Welcome to the club!

melodiccolor wrote:Yep, you're definintely HSP and no longer alone!  Welcome to the club!  

thanks!
it's all a handful for me right now. It's like my sensitivity is still increasing. I am pretty much constantly in a state of over arousal

_Tristan_ wrote:

melodiccolor wrote:Yep, you're definintely HSP and no longer alone!  Welcome to the club!  

thanks!
it's all a handful for me right now. It's like my sensitivity is still increasing. I am pretty much constantly in a state of over arousal

Over arousal is a common symptom for HSP's. At the physical level in this virtual reality trainer, the brain seems to be the cause for this. As the brain of Einstein was effectively stolen, so to speak, it was learned that his brain have the most density of neurons ever before seen by a scientist. I think neuronal brain density is key to being HSP.

My personal journey there, is all the food I typically eat, now, makes my stomach turn - again. That happened a handful of years ago and the solution was to go Gluten Free. Now my body rejects that, so I'm going Vegan.

Anyone got a tried and true, no potato, no meat, vegetable stew, that is hearty ?

BlueTopaz wrote:LOL Adain. Yes flowers, lots of flowers.

I would love to read your discussion on tarot and quantum physics.
I love the idea of the energetic particle being in two places at once. Since our thoughts are energy of some unquantified type, could they two be in 2 places at once... esp, telekinesis....

When I was in engineering school I reveled in math, calculus, differential equations. But math is very much like a language in that if you don't use it you lose it. Reading and working string theory equations was recreation for me. Not so much anymore. Too much tv has cooked my brain.

This is my INTJ side coming out and perhaps the 5 of the ennegram.
The INFJ is sleeping in.
(I'm an IN*J with the F and T fighting each other daily.)

The conventional science 'boat' is rocking to an extreme degree thanks to some non-conventional science. The tagging of 'non-conventional', doesn't mean it's not science. In fact it's so new science that it's upset people.

I highly recommend the video The Simulation Hypothesis-Full Documentary by Fair Winds Films to give you an overview that ties into HSP operations.

The film covers aspects like the fact that Consciousness is fundamental and not created by the brain. Consciousness is ONLY an effect and thus is nonphysical. The Consciousness System that creates this reality is an information system, allowing for information to be accessed, if one is 'grown up', enough.

ALL paranormal phenomena are normal phenomena is this Consciousness System. Focused Intent is the mechanism that affects the physical reality, but many are still at the point of using tools, like Tarot, to focus their intent.

Superposition is what happens to particles before they manifest in the physical reality. There aren't any particles, technically speaking, and this has been suggested to change as long as 100 years ago, at the Physics Solvay Conference. But those that suggested the change lost out to the old-timers, like Einstein, to keep the status quo, which is what we have today.