Am I too sensitive or intuitive to be a massage therapist?

Hi everyone, I am new on here. I never thought of myself as highly sensitive but I do know I have always been very intuitive and can feel others' emotions easily. I have been working as a massage therapist for 3 yrs and recently had an experience that just made me want to quit. Maybe I need a new career. This man stopped me after about the first 10-15 minutes of the massage and said he "just wasn't feeling my touch". I appreciated him telling me right away rather than at the end. But he didn't give a specific reason and eventually told me that he was going through a lot, that his dad was dying and he had had no one in the area to talk to about it. Even before he left, I has tears spring up in my eyes (usually no one sees me shed even a tear in public). Now, I do have financial problems and am missing my family some but still...after he left I just felt like I couldn't stop crying and had to go home and give another therapist the rest of my clients for the day. I think I was literally feeling his emotional pain. While this is an extreme case, I think I am too much like a sponge for this job. I have always felt better or worse depending on the emotional state of the client. People tell me I need to block the energy but it seems to take a LOT of energy to do so. I feel exhausted even after successfully blocking negative energy. Its too much. Ideas? Suggestions? Maybe I need a different line of work...but what?

Hi Malia13,

First of all, welcome to the board. It seems you are at a turning point. There are a few here who also deal with these issues. For them, the solution seemed to be finding work which allows them to telecommute.

I did not become a mental health specialists because I could not avoid absorbing the emotions from my clients indefinately. Nevertheless, I do seem to have some coping mechanisms; a kind of protective sheild. I wish I could teach it to others but since it seems to be an automatic process with me, I haven't figured out how. The only thing I could do is suggest people read me and find it that way.

As for what to do now, you need to figure out what activities you enjoy the most for which you have some talent. From there, ideas of new directions will develop. I do know of one probable hsp who is a massage therapist, the wife of my chiropractor. She is a wonderful one because of it. But it may not be for you if you can't detach from your clients' emotions.

Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it...very helpful. And I guess that does about sum it up...that unless I find a way to have that protective shield, I need to find something else.

Hi Malia. In Reiki, I learned to "withdraw" and allow the healing energy from the Divine fill me and flow through my hands. Sort of like a conduit of Divine energy. I haven't done it for a while but in that fashion, you are merely projecting the energy to someone and not allowing it to backwash into you. Another good thing is to imagine your feet rooted to the earth and allow any picked up energies disperse directly into the earth.

By the way, withdrawing entails pulling your thoughts up to your third eye.

Hope this helps in some way. Also, welcome to our group.

Hi Malia13,

Welcome to this board. Being sensitive can be an asset for a massage therapist. As you’ve discovered, as with everything about this trait, it can be double-edged. I wouldn’t be too quick to give up massage if you usually enjoy it. If the kind of incident you described happens regularly, then massage might not be the field for you, but my guess is, most of the time, you enjoy helping people relax and feel better. If this is true, then, don’t be too hasty in giving up your profession. It is possible to learn techniques to protect yourself, but you might have to experiment to find what works best for you.

Are you a Reiki practitioner? Many massage therapists are, and you might want to consider getting more training along those lines. Nan gave some really good suggestions about grounding yourself. I sometimes picture myself as a thick hose, nothing more than a conduit for energy. You can learn to direct the positive healing energy from Source, Universe, God or whatever you want to call that great unknown, through your fingertips and eyes to the person with whom you are working, and you can even learn to suction the negative energy that is being released, through your body, down through the souls of your feet, and let it dissipate into the earth.

LOL – I’m getting carried away with this image, now, because my day job is selling hose, adapters, fittings, and tubing…So to carry the analogy further, there are times when are hose, or conduit, is not strong enough for the highly pressurized fluids flowing through it, and it can become dangerous if the hose or pipes burst, and we have a meltdown. Likewise, despite our best efforts, we all occasionally can be rattled and overwhelmed by the intensity of the emotional energy being directed through us. It’s important not to add to the pressure by finding fault with yourself. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive. We all experience emotional overwhelm from time to time. But, the quicker you can learn to step back, and detach yourself from the emotions, and observe what is happening, the easier it is to shake off the bad experience, develop better strategies for dealing with similar situations in the future, and move on.

Besides the grounding techniques that Nan presented, I’ve heard it is helpful to work in your bare feet or soft slippers to allow the negative energy to leave your body, and not remained trapped. I’ve developed certain mantras that I repeat to myself when I begin to feel overwhelmed. I still sometimes feel panicky and physically shake when overwhelmed, but usually these mantras are enough to hold me together and pull me through the situation.

Best wishes. Keep us posted if you find something that works well for you.

Thanks everyone. I am going to look into or try to put into practice the suggestions offered. I am still not sure massage is for me...I have to do some soul searching on that but for now I am stuck with it as it is my only source of income so I might as well try to make it the best I can for the time being...