Celebrate the holidays cheerfully or not at all!

Everybody's around me's always frazzled and grouchy, and it's making it hard for me to get into the xmas spirit, as much as I'd like to. Why do they participate if it only stresses them out? If the holidays only make you a frazzled wreck, then just get a few presents for any kids in your immediate family and be done with it.

Oh I agree completely. But people feel this obligation to tradition and family and they are determined to meet it, no matter the cost to themselves or their finances. This now seems to go for all celebrations, not just the winter holidays. Insane.

Nucky, I have been thinking about this very thing lately. How holidays are such an annoyance for most everyone, how those christmas movies that come out every year about how irritating people's families are are so popular because everyone can relate, all the stereotypes about the holiday related disasters, etc. It's become a chore. Many people go out of their way all year round to get away their families, only to voluntarily (more or less) spend days in airports around the holidays trying to get across the country to see a bunch of people they've been avoiding all year long.

For a long time now I've made it a point to spend holidays only with people I enjoy being around. I'm lucky in that I'm not forced to be around people I'd rather not be.

I don't participate in your standard holiday fare. Oh, yeah, I have the day off because that's the way it works but we're only having my daughter over and she is cooking some of the food and we're doing the rest. No gifts, no rushing, just relaxing and enjoying the company.

I've been thinking about this too nucky. Why is something that is meant to be a good time turned into something so stressful? I was thinking about this as I walked around downtown and saw people scurrying, pushing and for the most part everyone looked downright grumpy. I didn't see anyone smiling. The energy just made me want to get the &&&& out of there. It does seem to me that everyone does the rushing and shopping and baking and entertaining out of some sense of obligation. I feel fortunate that my Christmases have always been low key with just a few small presents exchanged amongst my small immediate family.

Ugggh! You know what, I'm glad I hang out here...you guys make me feel so much better.
I was feeling depressed about christmas for a variety of reasons...reading this thread, made a lot of it better.
BTW, I'm doing nothing for christmas, because I'm working. I will probably go hang with friends in the morning though, or do something boxing day though.

People do seem more stressed around the holidays. There are too many expectations. When I was younger I wanted the perfect holiday, just like the movies. As I grew older I let go of that notion, realizing how silly it was. As my mother says, it’s just another day.

I just had the xmas dinner from Hell. My mom was a grouchy, frazzled wreck during the dinner. I don't understand why she does so much to "celebrate" when it is very clearly making her miserable. No one's making her do this.

Nucky, I'm so sorry to hear this...just think you will or at least your mother will not have to go through this again for another 364 days...Maybe you can go out next year...or at least pick it up from somewhere...My memories of Thanksgiving/Christmas are all those dirty dishes...Did your anyone get to enjoy the meal...??

Another thing that may help next year is if the whole family pitches in and helps do advance prep. for dinner so there is little left to do on the special day. People should help with cleanup too.

It's the old saying; many hands make light work. Your mom may be stressed out from not being in total control at first, but when she discovers how much less work it is for her, she'll finally be able to relax and enjoy the holidays herself.

Even those without much cooking skills can help with simple things like chopping produce, or helping to clean up as cooking goes along.

I hope next year's christmas is much happier for you.

PS, it just occured to me; your mom is about my age. It may not be the stress of the holiday that is causing her grouchiness.

We had a great meal with my daughter bringing over some food stuff and we doing the rest. No rushing, we ate when it was done and just had a good time chatting. Now I can sit around and listen to some interesting sounding music on the radio, kick back and rest a bit (the previous 2 days were a bit much at work) and enjoy the lights on the tree. Actually, I'll probably nod off. Ah, well, I'm older, I'm allowed.

She doesn't like people helping her, she gets claustrophobic in the kitchen.

Yeah, she is about your age Melodi.

Well, the only other idea I have is if the whole family gangs up on her, tell her they voted her out of the kitchen for the holidays and then take her to a nice resteraunt instead.

She'd protest, but would enjoy the lack of stress in the end.

My mother is claustrophobic in the kitchen as well. That is why I suggested advanced prep. so not everyone is in the kitchen at the same time.

Aw sorry to hear that nucky. Putting on the big meal is quite stressful. Even though she doesn't like help perhaps next year you could help institute a potluck where everybody brings one dish say and she is responsible just for the turkey? It might take some of the pressure off. Well, hope your family is able to rest and enjoy the rest of the holidays... no more cooking and just reheating leftovers hopefully?

There will always be a chronic spoiler. So, we must choose to not let the chronic spoiler bring us down. Plus, it is not our place to try to bring the chronic spoiler into happiness.

Sitting round watching DVDs and imbibing alcohol in moderation with a bunch of your friends is fun on Xmas, or mucking round a pool (past xmas experiences - not this xmas though ) Maybe I should grow up?

adain wrote:Sitting round watching DVDs and imbibing alcohol in moderation with a bunch of your friends is fun on Xmas, or mucking round a pool (past xmas experiences - not this xmas though ) Maybe I should grow up?

Girl, what on earth FOR??