Investment language, reinterpreted for the current times

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.



CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A person whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @
$240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past week investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

Federal Reserve System=the place where money is made. according to the experts, there is an 'unlimited supply'. therefore, the 'law' of supply and demand must apply.

Chairman of the Federal Reserve System=Charlie McCarthy, with the POTUS' hand up his butt