Of songs and dances and growing....

The important thing to remember is that
at the heart of all essence is an innocent being,
who carries the seed of great lovingness and creativity.
What keeps us from being and expressing lovingness and creativity
is layers and layers of unhealed pain.

Patterns are both
a way of behaving in the world,
and a way of seeing the world.

The Ebb and Flow of Healing Patterns Breaking through patterns takes time. It's a constant ebb and flow through these three things: noticing, crying the pain, and consciously crossing the pattern. It hasn't been my experience that I break through a pattern in one sitting or one awareness. It takes time of peeling the onion, of crying the pain until I reach a place of spontaneous re-evaluation and understanding. Understanding and evolution of the emotions is an automatic and integral part of the process. It happens naturally as you cry your old pain, and it cannot be forced. It's important to be gentle and forgiving with ourselves in this process, to understand and allow the ebb and flow of crying the pain and becoming aware, crying more pain, becoming more aware, etc.

I have found that my own ebb and flow goes something like this:


Seeing The Pattern After the Fact - At first I'm blind and unaware. I can only see what's been going on after it's all over with. For instance, I find myself in an interaction, massively triggered and wildly reacting to something somebody says or does. I realize at the time that my feelings are all over the map, erupting like little mini-volcanoes, but there's nothing I can do to stop myself from interacting there, nor can I make much sense of my own response. I can't tell how much of what I'm responding to is real, and how much is my own past. I'm IN the pattern, and no longer in control of my own actions. I do a lot of crying, but it's only after the storm has subsided that I can look back and gain some understanding of it. I continue to cry the pain that the situation has triggered, as much as I can.

During the Storm - This time I understand more of what's happening while I'm in the middle of it. I have cried a goodly amount of the pain the last time, and I NOTICE the similarity this time, I feel the same things, and I find myself responding in the same old ways. But this time my awareness comes sooner. I am still not able to stop myself from acting out of the pattern. I may find myself lashing out angrily with hurtful words, or collapsing into a puddle, or any number of pattern behaviors. As long as I continue to cry all the pain that is surfacing during this conflict, I know I will make progress.

Seeing it Coming - By this time I'm pretty well aware of what happens, how the other person acts, how I act, how I'm going to get triggered and so on. I still can't stop myself from going down that path, but I can see it coming. Again, crying the pain that gets triggered by the conflict is the important thing, and then pretty soon I am able to break through the ice and feel shifts happening.

Breaking the Pattern - This is the most frustrating phase. It's very much like the breakup of an ice floe. I'm not yet in clear water, there are huge chunks of ice all around me that I keep running into. Periodically I am free of the pattern, and I get glimpses of what it will be like, but I can't yet say I'm 100% free. I fall back into old ways fairly easily, but I spend periods of time feeling free. The temptation here is to try to stay in the "good" feelings, to try to stay free of the pattern by avoiding going back into the old "bad" feelings. But true freedom can only be gained by completely healing all the old feelings.

True Freedom - This is the really wonderful stage, the place where you feel yourself FREE of the pattern. At this point, I can see the other person acting in the same old ways toward me, but I no longer feel the same FEELING response in me. I no longer knee jerk into my pattern. They just don't make me mad anymore, or afraid, or whatever the feeling was. I have the freedom, at this point, to choose a new response!!! The freedom of this is wonderful. I may say something funny, to make light of the situation and see if they are able to be jostled out of their side of the pattern. I may leave the situation, I may refuse to interact with that person anymore. The point is, at that point I am no longer responding in old programmed ways, and I have CHOICES! I can choose, I can come up with new, creative ways to deal with situations that I had never thought of before, because I was limited by my own filters.
It takes as long as it takes.



THE DANCE

The Dance of Spirit and Soul

Our Creative Heart is meant to manifest the result of the dance between our mind and our emotions. This dance was meant to be a balanced back-and-forth dance of love and respect, each side giving of its talents and essence, and feeding equally into the little-God machinery that we ARE... creating forms and realities of our own making.

Since this dance has never been performed properly or with balance, it's impossible to predict what we are capable of. Until we fully heal our emotional body and bring our Spirit and Will into balance, we can only get a glimpse of the possibilities.

Think of it...

The Soul feels a nameless, formless desire, a wanting without a name. It aches within her, a hunger. The Spirit feels her desire, responds to her, listens to her. She reveals all her feelings to him, expressing and showing him images of her innermost self.

Spirit responds with love, embracing and surging with her, filling all her nooks and crannies with light and helping her to help him to understand. He gives words to her formless aching. The nameless thing now has a name, a word. It exists in linear space and time, within a container of light.

With a name given to her Desire, if it pleases her, the Soul surges forth and fills the form with more emotion, more desire. Her golden light and his white light combine, form and structure filled with strong emotion and brilliant colorful imagery are fed into the creative manifestation machinery.... and something new comes into being.

Without the structure and light, creations are produced that are chaotic, hard to understand, hard to see, slow moving and dark. Without the emotion and desire, creations are produced that are rigid, colorless, without life or fire, creations that form and then fall apart, without the magnetic energy needed to hold them together.

Both Spirit and Soul are needed in this glorious dance. It is the creative dance of the Great Joining, and it is an altogether divine thing It takes as long as it takes.

http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/create_reality.html#dance1.

Alethia wrote:....and I wonder when it was written whether the intention was tons of money or sharing a space that they have danced......and in knowing how special that dance is they simply want others to dance with them...

I am curious about the "I hold these truths to be self evident" part.....can you elaborate on that space....you were speaking about or is that more to do with your own personal life? I just wondered where it tied in with this piece?