Do you care about what others think of you?

I think that I've made a lot of progress with not caring about what others think of me. It used to really affect me a lot, but I have a lot more self-esteem than I used to, and I have taken a "what other people think of me is none of my business" attitude. The only concern I have regarding this at the present moment is things that are said about me to others when I'm not present. I don't necessarily object when people do this, I just prefer to be informed when this happens and what was being said if it's anything more than small talk, just so that I have a chance to respond to it and so that crazy rumors don't spread like wildfire.

Disclaimer: Just so everyone knows, I don't suspect that this is happening at all right now, just a topic that I deemed to be fft. On an unrelated note, I think that I've made progress in losing the paranoia I once had as well.

This is going to surprise you; I do care what people think of me; but not enough to change who I am. I only care what those I care about think of me and those I must do business with for the image I present there will influence the outcome. Still, I am always my genuine self and I've no wish to be anything else than that.

Nucky, I have seen you make some good progress in gaining self esteem from where you were when I first met you until now.

As for people discussing me when I am not around, I kind of assume that is the case and I am fine with it for the most part. The exception is when it is done as character assasination, but in the end, my reputation speaks for itself anyway.

melodiccolor wrote:This is going to surprise you; I do care what people think of me; but not enough to change who I am. I only care what those I care about think of me and those I must do business with for the image I present there will influence the outcome. Still, I am always my genuine self and I've no wish to be anything else than that.

That's exactly how I feel on the subject.

melodiccolor wrote:Nucky, I have seen you make some good progress in gaining self esteem from where you were when I first met you until now.

Thank you Melodic. That is how I feel about myself as well at this point. It is amazing what true friends can do for each other.

I struggle with this too Nucky, and I think I've also made some good progress in the last couple of years.
I really don't care that much about what people think of me, except for the people who know me well. People who know me well know that I am a kind and caring person, but also human. People that don't know me can think whatever because they don't know me.... does that make sense?
Last year when I was in that horrible job I went into counselling briefly and we talked about people talking about others behind their back. The thrust of the conclusion was that this is a universal human activity. I wasn't being singled out and the fact was that people don't think about me even a fraction of the amount that I think they do. But people are going to talk, whether good or bad. When bad things are said I always think, if that person is worthy of my "knowing" them, they will have enough of a brain to make their own conclusions. If they get to know me, they will see that I am "a kind and caring person who is also human". And what was said has more to do with the person who said it than it does with me.

I would think most of us care...in that we wish to be percieved in a good light and not be misjudged/misunderstood by those around us and with whom we must interact. Like the others say though; sooner or later we must just be ourselves. There are always going to be those who are critical or judgemental... for whatever reasons the deem so. However, if we remain true and positive [authentic] to ourselves I would imagine [and hope] that our lights will eventually 'shine'.
On a humerous note; I had to chuckle once when I saw a bumper sticker that read: 'Don't bother me...I'm living happily ever after!" I like that!
If only I could ALWAYS believe that without the 'world's interference and negative chatter' causing me to sometimes doubt and question whether this is in fact true!
Well...we continue to strive for that...as best we can.
b.d.

Yeah, I take back what I said about wanting to know when others are talking behind my back. Stuff like that more often than not surfaces eventually anyway. It is a universal activity, and I really don't care about it so much as long as it's not character assassination like Melodic said.

i dont care for the most part about what others think of me. of course i dont like to hear some one dont like me. i feal like there is no reason to dislike me lol. but to each their own and everyone entitled to an opinion. cant like everyone.
for the most part itsnot a problem.
but i do have a problem of the talking behind your back that i hear right from the sorce"over heard". nothing chomps my bit more than to hear right from the mouth of a suposive friend,something negitive about you,then come back to you like nothing happened or nothing said.
those are lies,and are keeping your friendship for nothing more than a convience.
those anger me.

Unfortunately I care too much what people think. Acceptance is difficult for me as an hsp.