Is it ever appropriate to be mildly condescending?

Not to a point where other people are ridiculed, just enough to "dumb things down" for them as much as necessary. Let's face it, intelligence isn't everyone's forte, and some people really are much smarter than others. Does it really do any good to talk way over other peoples' heads, only to have them stare blankly? Or is it best not to talk to such people at all?

Do you consider making yourself understood to those whose experiences do not match your own condescending? I sure don't. To me, being condescending is intentionally talking down to someone in a way to make them know you think they are stupid, or intentionally acting in a way that makes them feel belittled. It is a form of invalidation.

I don't simplify, but rather provide enough information for people to make sense of what I am saying. If I judge that it is not going to be possible in the time allowed, I drop it and go onto a subject they can relate to.

melodiccolor wrote:Do you consider making yourself understood to those whose experiences do not match your own condescending? I sure don't. To me, being condescending is intentionally talking down to someone in a way to make them know you think they are stupid, or intentionally acting in a way that makes them feel belittled. It is a form of invalidation.

I agree. It seems that most people have a different definition of condescending though.

Nucky wrote:

melodiccolor wrote:Do you consider making yourself understood to those whose experiences do not match your own condescending? I sure don't. To me, being condescending is intentionally talking down to someone in a way to make them know you think they are stupid, or intentionally acting in a way that makes them feel belittled. It is a form of invalidation.

I agree. It seems that most people have a different definition of condescending though.

i new it was a negative term. but i couldn't remember the actual definition. so i looked it up.
technicly its only a negative word depending on how it is used.
the original use of the word was in good intent. meaning one did not have too much pride to make the attempt to make him/her self heard or understood by lowering to the level of his/her peers or audience.

now days the word is assumed negative, and is used negativly. so it is possible for one to have the best intentions and use of this word.

condescend
mid-14c., from O.Fr. condescendere, from L.L. condescendere "to let oneself down," from L. com- "together" + descendere "descend." Originally "to yield deferentially;" sense of "to sink willingly to equal terms with inferiors" is from 1610s.

1707, from condescend. Originally in a positive sense (of God, the Savior, etc.) until late 18c. Related: Condescendingly (1650s).

"now days the word is assumed negative, and is used negatively"

I find it disturbing if people no matter what they excel at, use it to belittle others. The act of living ='s learning. Everyone has at least one gift to share with others.

jaded wrote:"now days the word is assumed negative, and is used negatively"

I find it disturbing if people no matter what they excel at, use it to belittle others. The act of living ='s learning. Everyone has at least one gift to share with others.

that is true every person has a gift,a talent that some others do not and is able to share with joy. even if you are smarter than the rest does not mean that person needs to rub it in callously. it is possible to share your intelligence effectively.
as for words being used as not intended. there are many words that meant nice things and now they are negative. gay used to be happy. im sure of many words of Shakespeare are not what intended, why do we make new definitions to a word that already has one? lol

Its true that we all are intelligent in different things, eg EQ or emotional intelligence. According to Gardner, they are 9 different intelligences. I remember I have a girlfriend once. She was what people would called "dim-witted". I was a college student. Sometime we would play a game called "Tic Tac Toe" and she would beat me EVERY SINGLE damn time. The worst was the SPEED & EASE that she disposed of me. I bet you she doesnt even analyse the game, SHE JUST KNEW THE PATTERN!
So an IQ is only a tool and is so darn boring though useful. EQ is more exciting and its what we HSP excel at!

roflol thats funny. you mention tic tac toe. there is a pattern to win every time. i used it alot roflol.
correction, almost every time there is a way to stale mate it.

= )
I am unbeaten at checkers. I have played since I was a child & make the same moves every-time.
I have not played tic tac toe in years. I used to play chess but cannot remember how the moves work at all now, been to many years.
I guess being a ditz has some positive points. I have always said I am redhead with blonde brain. lol!

Oh and...........................
I have 2 sons that have genius IQs ( believe it or not) lol!!!!!
One is so uncomfortable in social situations he avoids them at all costs.
The other has a superiority complex like you would not believe.
They both could use some teaching when it comes to socialization skills.

I enjoy when people talk "above me" it helps me learn, not to mention I am not afraid to ask for the concept to be explained or study it on my own. Learning is fun so being exposed to more complex ideas is exciting

wow i am glad i never have u gals as my game opponents..would be a bad dent on my "fragile" male ego!

jade...have u ever tried the queen gambit?

seraphia...i think u have a very positive & smart way of looking at things... good on ya!

Haha thanks Petersi it makes life more fun

seraphiasavina wrote:I enjoy when people talk "above me" it helps me learn, not to mention I am not afraid to ask for the concept to be explained or study it on my own. Learning is fun so being exposed to more complex ideas is exciting

Well, that post did make me smile. I share this and am astonished most do not. I enjoy rising to the challenge of understanding.

I love this forum! People actually agree with me instead of shun me lol