The HSP Dimension: Expressions of Highly Sensitive People
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Post by reb Wed May 07, 2008 6:45 pm

i am putting this here. i feel strongly about 'paying things forward'....i could get all this or that, but here's the story...

sittin' in the hospital today, over at the dental desk, is this just
knockdead cute young lady, who reminded me of my friend shannon. i got
all kinds of warm and fuzzy thoughts...lol! i was listening to a austin
prog rock radio station, rolling around the recording 'studio' that's not
even unpacked, tihnking i ought to find time, reading a harbor freight
tools catalogue, and waiting...my mind went on a drift (like the moody
blues say), and i thought 'i'm old. i'm 57...i can go tell her she's
beautiful, and she won't think i'm hittin' on her, and it might make her
smile all day....by god, i'm gonna!'...and the next thing i knew, i had my
phones off, and was at her desk...i told her 'excuse me...i'm an old fart.
and i know i've been staring, and it took me awhile to realize i was.
you're so pretty, it made me smile. have a good day.' and she said
'that's sweet...' as i was walking off. lol! if i see the opportunity, i
try to make someone laugh or smile every day....it won't get me a statue,
but i don't give a shit about no statue for the pigeons to shit on
anyway....Smile

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Post by melodiccolor Wed May 07, 2008 6:54 pm

This is also called "random acts of kindness" and I believe in it strongly too. sunny
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Post by Little Sister Thu May 08, 2008 8:45 am

This is so cool, because for the past 36 hours I've been thinking about how to pay it forward. Someone did something really great for me Tuesday night, and I can't pay him back, but I've been thinking how I can pay it forward, and then I got to thinking while it feels really great to have someone do something great for you, it feels even better to be able to pass that feeling on to someone else.

Anyway, your story about the girl at the desk was sweet, and it reminded me of a story from my childhood. I was about 13, and my mother presented me with some wildflowers. She told me a curly-headed boy had given them to her for me, but he wished to remain a secret admirer. He said that after dinner he liked to stop outside our window and listen to me play the piano. Now, at the time, I couldn't imagine who this would be, I could only picture some mysterious boy riding by on his bicycle, and stopping to listen. It wasn't until many years later, that I found out it was the elderly gentleman who lived next door. At 13, I would have been too young to really appreciate the gesture, wishing that it had been someone much younger, but now, I think that was one of the nicest bouquets I've ever received.

I don't say it enough, but you are all some of the greatest people I've ever met! beatingheart
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Post by reb Thu May 08, 2008 9:56 am

when i got past 50, and all the 'load' got off 'how i feel', i started to come to this point....when i feel good and 'right', and someone gives off a vibe like 'they could use a good word', something comes to me, and i say it. i don't care what anyone thinks about it; i have no 'emotional attachment' to it, and it feels like...it feels like when i used to fly small planes...the sky's the limit. i kind of imagine it's what a bird feels like (i hope they feel that good)...i was high all day yesterday because i could tell her this without having to hem and haw 'what if she thinks i'm hitting on her? will she be offended? how could i say this? will i start to stutter?'....i dint care; what's more, i no longer care if they're male or female, whatever else the details are...they don't mattter to me-i don't have 'attachment' to these things most of the time anymore....it's sooooooooo free Smile reminds me of wearing old overalls, with no shirt, no shoes, and no underwear! lol!

the backside of the coin is, when i feel like someone's being a jerk, i feel free to say that, too. lol!

thanks, y'all Smile thanks for being who you are.
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Post by melodiccolor Thu May 08, 2008 3:45 pm

sunny

I think you all are special too. And you've made my day.

When ever I am out doing things, if I see anything that deserves a compliment, I give it. It's amazing how total strangers at the grocery store, for example, or an overworked clerk, light up when they get it. Because I mean it and they can tell, it has an impact.
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Post by Fossy Fri May 09, 2008 8:40 am

reb wrote:i am putting this here. i feel strongly about 'paying things forward'....i could get all this or that, but here's the story...

sittin' in the hospital today, over at the dental desk, is this just
knockdead cute young lady, who reminded me of my friend shannon. i got
all kinds of warm and fuzzy thoughts...lol! i was listening to a austin
prog rock radio station, rolling around the recording 'studio' that's not
even unpacked, tihnking i ought to find time, reading a harbor freight
tools catalogue, and waiting...my mind went on a drift (like the moody
blues say), and i thought 'i'm old. i'm 57...i can go tell her she's
beautiful, and she won't think i'm hittin' on her, and it might make her
smile all day....by god, i'm gonna!'...and the next thing i knew, i had my
phones off, and was at her desk...i told her 'excuse me...i'm an old fart.
and i know i've been staring, and it took me awhile to realize i was.
you're so pretty, it made me smile. have a good day.' and she said
'that's sweet...' as i was walking off. lol! if i see the opportunity, i
try to make someone laugh or smile every day....it won't get me a statue,
but i don't give a shit about no statue for the pigeons to shit on
anyway....Smile

ber reb

You are a sweet old fart. If you had said that to me I definitely would have felt all warm and fuzzy.

I replied because I know exactly how you feel. I feel this every day I go to work at the nursing home. I am merely cleaning people's rooms but I am doing it in the spirit of helping them, and every once in a while I get to put a smile on their faces and/or help them with something they can't do themselves. I love my residents. This is why I want to dedicate my life to this kind of work. I'm gonna train to be a nurses aide in the fall and then eventually I am going to be an RN.

Has anyone ever seen the movie Pay it Forward? It's a shame because I saw it and I loved the concept of it but it was made rather poorly.
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Post by reb Fri May 09, 2008 11:08 pm

Fossy, actually, you have the perfect situation to make someone smile and feel valued every day. a great place for someone who feels 'it'.

i saw 'pay it forward'; it was a little rough around the edges, but so are diamonds when they come out the ground, and gold nuggets Smile and frankly, the beauty is there, polished, or not...the same way with some music...Smile
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Post by Fossy Sat May 10, 2008 1:17 pm

reb wrote:Fossy, actually, you have the perfect situation to make someone smile and feel valued every day. a great place for someone who feels 'it'.

i saw 'pay it forward'; it was a little rough around the edges, but so are diamonds when they come out the ground, and gold nuggets Smile and frankly, the beauty is there, polished, or not...the same way with some music...Smile
reb

Actually I've found that simple things like smiling at people and saying hello or addressing them by name make people feel better. I know it makes me feel better. I always try to smile at work.
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Post by StrawberryLife Wed May 14, 2008 1:14 pm

I think the concept of 'paying forward' is really great... I try to do it whenever I can too...

Lovely story, Reb... & Fossy, I like what you do too...

Melodic, yours is a great idea, I'll try to do something like that if I get the nerve for it... Sometimes they love just chatting too, or if you acknowledge they must have had a hard/busy day... & are courteous etc.

Once I let a lady who was in a hurry go in front of me, at the cashier's in a shop - she was so shocked (this was in a city!) & so very thankful... She was on a lunch break & had to get back quickly... I think she never experienced something like this before... Very Happy
Then I went outside & there was a lady with a kid in the street, & they were just walking down the street, the kid was skipping & prancing... our smiles caught... It was so wonderful, somehow... Like, see how simple life really is? You don't need a lot to be happy...
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Post by melodiccolor Wed May 14, 2008 3:37 pm

Very true. I love you
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Post by reb Thu May 15, 2008 9:28 am

yep; it's more simple than most people can stand; therefore they invent complexity to amuse themselves. guy in the gunshop and i were talking about raising kids yesterday, and i said that raising kids looked just like raising dogs to me. the 'stats' say kids get 80% of their principles and habits in the first 5 years. this fella likened 'discipline' to a cone....many people invert it; little discipline at the early years, and then trying to apply more later, when it's too late. he said he and his wife had taken some child rearing courses, and they were doing the opposite....more discipline early, backing off as they saw what their 2 year old could handle on their own...simple; effective....and most parents don't get it at all....lol!

we got to laughing about some of my ex-girlfriends and their kids when they came in contact with me...pretty funny...and, again, simple...lol! i dint use w.c. field's line.....'w.c., how do you like children?' (w.c.) 'well done'....lol!

in many cases, the human mind is its own worst enemy...i forget was it confusion or who said it, but 'the man who realizes he is his own worst enemy has won half the battle' Smile
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Post by StrawberryLife Fri May 16, 2008 9:47 am

Yes, you are right about the kids & the discipline. Play it hard at first & loosen up later... Basically, it's like that in all human interaction... For a teacher, being a 'bitch' the 1st day & onward & loosening up at the end of the school year can be the sole means of survival...

& dating instructions teach both men (!) & women to 'play hard to get' at first... lol!!
Apparently 'gorgeous girls being bitches' at first is just a 'survival/defense mechanism' or 'test' for men... Wink

Somewhere it was also recommended that all women (&/or men?) read dog-training manuals to help with relating to & having effective & good relationships with the opposite sex... Smile It might possibly help raise kids too, I guess... -Kinda makes sense, no? Wink

Being assertive & showing others how to treat you (& how not to) can have a profound effect on your whole relationship with them, & life in general...
A lot of people (sometimes me included) may have had a hard time distinguishing between assertiveness, discipline & 'being an asshole'/too authoritarian/'evil'... It's a tricky field... 'Too nice'.... 'too bitchy'... & a whole rainbow of other stuff inbetween... I like to 'play it nice' & be friends with people etc., but sometimes you have to be assertive & such too.. It doesn't come naturally to me, mostly... But the good thing is these things can be learnt, at least to some extent...

What sort of kid-rearing course did the guy go to? (If you maybe know-?)
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Post by melodiccolor Fri May 16, 2008 3:07 pm

SL,

When I was single and dating, I didn't play "the game". I was straight forward, honest, and friendly. But, I was never submissive or passive. I was always upfront, assertive and clear about my bounderies and what I expected. Guys responded well to this and appreciated knowing where they stood. (Of course the guys I dated were mostly introverts, like me.)

I also did this as a teacher, and I taught all grades, including the toughest ones. Again, it took me about less than 15 minutes to gain the respect of the students, and once I had it, I never lost it. Of course there was always at least one who challenged me; so I would show a hint of steel, and usually, by the end of the hour, 2, if the student was really bad, I had his respect too. (I never had a problem like that with a female student.)

I also use this to "train" my cats. Laughing
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