The HSP Dimension: Expressions of Highly Sensitive People
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Is ignorance tolerated by you.

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tezorian
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Post by Sparkles Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:03 am

I'm wondering is anyone else has this issue, but I'm finding that people become your friend to gain something in return, no matter how big or small it is. Once they get what they want, they basically vanish from your life, like you've never existed before. Yet you know they're still around, because now and then you bump into them. But they aren't their usual self, and have become quite ignorant. Tell me, is this something that happens to anyone here, because this really is something I don't tolerate too well. I can't stand ignorant people if my life depended on it, and I don't know if this is normal behavior for HSP people, or is it just me.

This is always a repeated episode in my life and it happens over and over again, why do people do that to me? Grrr..

Ok maybe just a little more information might help you better understand this situation. It's not that I can't stand ignorant people, but it's more so the 'ignorance' that drives me nuts. This is just as bad as rejection, which I also can't deal with.

Please discuss if anyone else has issues with this...
Ps... this was written while I am half asleep, so sorry about all the typos and grammar. Is ignorance tolerated by you. 272908807
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Post by RBM Sun Oct 02, 2011 11:16 am

Repetition of an event in the Larger Consciousness Systemindicates something that's supposed to be learned is not being learned.

My only issue I have with lessons that keep repeating in my life is my aversion to change. Sometimes it's hard to see what specifically needs to be done differently so one gets a different result.
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Post by Nucky Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:21 pm

I've had that happen a time or three before. Someone becomes my friend (or pretends to be my friend) to try to gain some kind of advantage or position. Once they get that something or realize that I can't give it to them, they vanish without a trace. Yeah, users really suck.

Did you try to contact the people in question? There are a lot of users out there, but sometimes situations aren't what they seem and need communication and clarification.
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Post by Alethia Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:31 pm

Repetition of an event in the Larger Consciousness System indicates something that's supposed to be learned is not being learned.


Smile

Sometimes in our own space of "needs" we do learn some very profound lessons when this happens. And usually the mirror/people who are to teach us will reveal this issue. We can blame them for ignorance, communicate our need and maybe have it met..or we can acknowledge our own space of pain if they cannot meet that space and grow from it...in self acceptance and love..
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Post by tezorian Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:58 am

It depends on how you look at it really. Myself for example, am not someone to keep regular contact. Days, weeks, months can pass before i "check in" again. Some people i meet aren't ready for me, others i'm not ready for. But i also don't "demand" people to "check in" regularly either. The contact, purely for the contact, because people think it's "required" really doesn't mean much to me. Then there are also those who kind of leech of you, simply because you have something to offer. They're not interested in you at all. Empty attention.

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Post by mtngrl123 Mon Oct 03, 2011 7:39 am

Tez...I think the issue might be in that it feels like checking in. Simply calling that says wonders about the relationship.
When the relationship is one of a real connection it no longer feels like checking in but rather sharing and building. Humans are social animals ...yes even hsps. Smile
But the fake interaction which you explain is not what I believe the human seeks. I find these...checking in...lead to an empty feeling. So in a way I agree....gosh again!
But there are many rich connections which are shared not simply checked in.
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Post by Trien Mon Oct 03, 2011 9:37 am

I think if there is a pattern, like with you Sparkles, well, then it would be worth it to look at more deeply. ask yourself what makes you attract those people. or what makes you have a friendship with those people. I believe, by recognizing that pattern and the underlying cause, might help you to prevent that kind of situations.

when it comes to fake interactions, where people try to leech you, again, by noticeing the false motive of the other, you can make a choice and stop keeping in touch with that person.
in my case, setting boundaries is important. I can see exactly what the person is up to, it's just that I play the game with them (cannot be honest, am afraid of the fact that I will hurt the other)........ and then of course you feel like drained................
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Post by RBM Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:49 am

[url=In my case, setting boundaries is important.]Trien[/url]

It' s also important to me, as it was an element I lacked and identified by my counselor in alcohol rehab 20+ years ago, who emphasized it's importance to me.
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Post by Sparkles Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:39 am

Thanks for the advice guys, as always I'm a lost soul wanting directions. Or as I should write it, just confused is all. Needed some kind of direction.

Yes, I have a few friends, who do this to me and yet I wonder why, or what I've done. I'll give another eg.

I have this particular friend, who one day will chat to me, like we're best friends, and next day it's like I don't exist. They'll see me around, yet they are ignoring me to a point where I've got to say something first just to see if things are ok between us.

And I don't know why I should have to do that, because to me friends are always friends, and I know for a fact that I've done nothing wrong to make them distance them self from me, yet that's how it feels, like they don't want to talk to me, or even know me.

I don't know about anyone else, but I value friendship quite strongly and so I like to keep the friends I do make, but being ignorant towards me is a pet peeve of mine, that I can't seem to control properly, when it happens to me. It just saddens me too much.

Why do I worry so much over this? Rolling Eyes As many of you have said, I've got to look into this and figure out why it's an occurring event for me.
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Post by Trien Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:38 am

sorry to say thlis Sparkles, but friends you know, real friends, they don't talk to you 1 day and the next day do as if you don't exist. that means, to me that they are not really friends. I can not call this 'friends'. you see, a friend , a real friend does not do that. she,he might need some time alone, but then you know about it, you talk about it with each other.
maybe you don't have real friends. friends support each other, automatically...
they are there for each other, you can cry and laugh with each other, there is a connection and therefore there is mutual support.
seems to me that your 'friends' attract and reject.... well, Sparkles, friends usually don't do that.....
and you know what? you are worth much more than the friends like you described. you have to claim that right for yourself. Smile
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Post by BlueTopaz Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:23 pm

Sparkles wrote:
I have this particular friend, who one day will chat to me, like we're best friends, and next day it's like I don't exist. They'll see me around, yet they are ignoring me to a point where I've got to say something first just to see if things are ok between us.

And I don't know why I should have to do that, because to me friends are always friends, and I know for a fact that I've done nothing wrong to make them distance them self from me, yet that's how it feels, like they don't want to talk to me, or even know me.

I don't know about anyone else, but I value friendship quite strongly and so I like to keep the friends I do make, but being ignorant towards me is a pet peeve of mine, that I can't seem to control properly, when it happens to me. It just saddens me too much.

Why do I worry so much over this? Rolling Eyes As many of you have said, I've got to look into this and figure out why it's an occurring event for me.

OMG, this happens a lot to me too. And even at my age I am baffled and hurt. I think Trien is right in that they are not that much of a "friend". But I also have come to the conclusion that it is more about them and what they are and what is going on in their heads than it is about me.
I try not to take much too personally anymore and I think: people don't do things to me, they do things for themselves.
I'm still not that great at this, but I'm still a work in progress. Smile
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Post by Nucky Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:33 pm

Sparkles wrote:
I have this particular friend, who one day will chat to me, like we're best friends, and next day it's like I don't exist. They'll see me around, yet they are ignoring me to a point where I've got to say something first just to see if things are ok between us.

I'm guilty of this. I just find starting conversations very difficult. But I always make sure that my closest friends know that the door is always open, and your friends should be doing at least that.
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Post by Nucky Sat Oct 08, 2011 6:12 pm

Also, when you talk to people about being pre-occupied with things and then participate less in places where you normally participate, people will assume that you don't want to be disturbed.
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Post by Reamsie Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:32 pm

I am one of those people who "appears" to drift in and out of groups and friends. Do I do it deliberately, no. But I'm married with four kids and I work two jobs. Most nights I am honestly just too exhausted to form coherent sentences or I won't be online for weeks sometimes except to check my e-mail. People that know me or bother to ask understand that. Don't get me wrong if you e-mail me during an offline time I will respond. If anything people tend to drift away from me simply because I can't be constantly available.
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